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midknyte - suicide rap lyrics

[verse]
imagine if you was bad at the only thing that brought you comfort
and relief, reassurance, to somethin’ upwards
to just know nothin’ you do will never be good enough
and everyday is another day of you f+ckin’ up
am i the only one who has a f+cked up brain?
it feels like the only way to be forgiven is pain
‘the boy who cried wolf’, they think it’s a lie
to be forgiven for my sins, i have to f+ckin’ die
i’m alone, since no one will ever f+ckin’ understand my mind
cuttin’ apart of me, f+ckin’ lobotomy to see what’s inside
i’m a outcast, of the outcasts, even they don’t want me
got no rеasons, seems like the f+ckin’ demons all haunt mе
tattoos on my wrists, starvin’ to not exist
carvin’ then i slit, startin’ to get p+ssed
because i realized i’ll never make it
a couple views don’t mean you made it
every record you wanna break them
and every chance you get, you don’t take them
i have girls who loved me, but i didn’t see the signs
please, just f+ckin’ love me, or am i f+ckin’ blind?
f+ck my dad, f+ck my family
f+ck my exes, all y’all thought i was happy
call it tough love when it’s trauma
can’t hear myself think, all this drama
since 11, i took that f+ckin’ knife
put it to my throat and tried to die
fakin’ my guidance
i’m breakin’ my silence
i’m takin’ some names and leavin’ with violence
i’m fleein’ the pilots
kamikaze or nagasaki, no comma
they droppin’ bombs like f+ckin’ osama
it’s a battle with myself and everyone else and
if i k!lled myself they will win
i’m petty, f+ck it, i’m relapsin’ again
it was “damien”, not devyn, i’m destined to not go to heaven
i f+ck up everyday, by the way, it’s a warzone where you restin’
i’m rest assured the rest will be heard
repeatin’ like a parakeet or a f+ckin’ bird
was i a good kid? look how i turned out now
i’m a f+ckin’ psycho, with a couple of sounds
mama, i’m sorry that i gave you such a hard time
but it’s just me, i leave a destructive path behind
i am not liked
by any other motherf+cka’ that’s my type
since i was 5, i had a negative impact on minds
i remember my momma wanted to take her own life
just to get away from me
i pray to succeed
but i also remember that one night
get on my knees and prayed to god for this awful life
to be taken away, secrets cut deep
just f+ckin’ k!ll in me in my sleep
my only safe place is in my dreams
sorry that i wasn’t normal enough for you
sayin’ your delulu and crazy, aw, poor you
it’s always family stabbin’ you in the back
then wanna argue over me havin’ bands
it’s for my future, i’m sorry but it’s facts
perception, somethin’ that you f+ckin’ lack
(who am i? and what do i wanna be
why am i always rappin’ and cappin’ like a f+cking wannabe)
they will never understand my pain
they will never understand my pain
they will never understand my pain
i’m embracin’ these thoughts, that are racin’ in my brain
get in my shoes and walk, then ask if you are sane
these b+tches just talk, my life is one big ass game
i will make them hear my pain
i will make them feel my pain
i will make them hear my pain
i will make them feel my pain
i will make them hear my pain
i will make them feel my pain
i will make them hear my pain
i will make them feel my pain
they will never relate
they can never feel my pain
they won’t hear my pain
i want them to relate
f+ckin’ hear my pain
vicious cycle, it will always be the same
nothin’ will ever change
tortured and trapped under chains
engulfed in darkness, feel my reign
feel my wrath
destruction in my past
depressed in my past
obsession, not gonna last
possessed to get off my ass
have to get off this fast
i wish i can summarize my life in a song
instead of crying, while grippin’ a bong
wait, no, grippin’ a blade
sippin’ away the pain in my brain
n0body gives a f+ck when you hurtin’
loved ones, or close ones, they like “you deserve it!”
f+ck the help, i need love
can’t find it in someone else so i use drugs
if only my mom knew
the things i do
when i go cry or sit inside my room
wonderin’ why it’s sweatshirts or my eyes grew
(what the f+ck is this?) it’s a fine noose
life is misery and that’s my views
this is deeper than any cuts
deeper than the drugs
deeper than any girl i fell in love
this is a battle with myself
b+tch i need help
decrease in my health
from all the pain i felt
you’d decide if it’s do or die
motherf+cka’, do or die, that!
who am i? newer lies
b+tch this is suicide rap!

- midknyte lyrics

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