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midosnas - heart fed lyrics

[intro: midosnas & his friend]
“alright guys thanks for the ride
of course man you’re family
you too man. see you soon
alright brother
okay he’s gone what do you want to do?”

[verse 1: midosnas]
you’re acting like you give a f-ck
i’m acting like i give no f-cks
but keep that face it’ll get stuck
being my friend trust me that sucks
i’m depressive over protective
look at me in the eyes very perceptive
but come talk to me barely receptive
what am i? what am i? mr. deceptive
calling me on the phone i am not answering
i’d rather be in my bed reminiscing
reminiscing to see what i’ve been missing
lips of depression only lips i’ve been kissing
though i’d rather be with her over there
even though i don’t really show that i care
she doesn’t know i need her more than air
more than a second away i cannot bear

[bridge: midosnas]
“why though? why me
why does everyone hate me
why am i not fitting in
why am i not able to
maybe being my friend just sucks”

[verse 2: midosnas]
money fame with girls no
poor unknown with you yes
success luxury life for you
the minimum i could ever do
you think i’m talking about a girl
but i am talking about a pearl
someone who shows me love more than life
without her my heart would be home to a knife
what is my reason what is my meaning
my friend p-sses by me not even a greeting
so i get up and now as i am leaving
i hear him talking bout me so i’m running
running from life running from feelings
running away until i am not breathing
next time i see him he starts explaining
act like i’m good inside i’m bleeding
i go back home now i’m imagining
pulling the trigger, feeling me dying
i go back home now i’m imagining
pulling the trigger, feeling me dying

[bridge: midosnas & his consciousness]
“don’t do anything stupid your mom needs you
but what if i need to leave this f-cked up life
what about me
it’ll get better you just have to be patient
i’ve been patient i’ve been patient for 17 years
why am i even listening to my consciousness it’s because of that that i care so much
my mom loves me she’ll understand”

[verse 3: midosnas]
i have more tears than i have cries
keep it all in keep telling lies
the only reason i’m still here
isn’t because of death i fear
it’s for my mom i’ll always be
right next to her that way she’ll see
that she’s not alone she has me
even though it’s the only reason for me
to be on this earth the rest i don’t care
well yes i do i want you to love me
even though we’re brothers you don’t really want me
there but i tell myself that i don’t care enough
to take my own life
cause for my mom it would be a bit tough
to walk around her house without her son
i would never do that to my mom
she would be the only one at the graveyard
no one to the left right and then she would start
crying talking praying for this to be
a nightmare that she could wake up from
my funeral would be full of tears
but those tears would be from one person
my mom’s with both her hands on her knees
the rest wouldn’t care to show up in person

- midosnas lyrics

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