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mike absalom - saga of john the bog lyrics

john the bog was happy, he was smoking in the dark
he’d scored a load at gloucester road and was hiding in hyde park
his beatific attitude from an old icon was loaned
for like the early martyrs, he was usually stoned
he saw an afghan coat approach and a forehead bound with rag
it looked just like a sheep but, oh it was a wolf in drag
constable mclagan with his kaftan and his fur
disguised as hare krishna, an agent provocateur
with an evil smelling, smiling face, he paused as if to pass
sniffing around until he found the roaches on the grass
but john the bog was happy, he didn’t get the point
saying “suppertime and here’s a freak to share my sunday joint
all you need is love”, he said, “and a little peace
so try a little piece of this, it must be lebanese”
mclagan touched his truncheon but it was too soon to pounce
saying “better to be certain, let him roll me half an ounce”

meanwhile, back at the albert memorial
ernie plugg was out for bovver, he was so cruel and mean
his boots was big and dirty and his face was red and clean
the park spread all about him and he smiled a crooked smile
when he saw two figures on the grass cos he was an aggrophile
ernie looked at john the bog who vanished up a tree
muttering non+violent things like shit and cnd
he sat there, chewing kernels from a san fransisco peach
and very soon, he was so high that he was out of reach
but mclagan read the writing and his face dripped wet with sweat
he said “they never wrote it up like this in the police gazette”
he felt his fearful eyes dilate and then dial 999
when ernie kicked him in the head which really blew his mind
“eeeergh” ernie said and beat him till his beads
went pop, pop, pop and flew about like marijuana seeds
he ripped his wig and kaftan off so all the world could see
mclagan lying, naked, sore and hippy critically

well this story has no hero but it has no heroin
so light another joss stick, babe, and hand me down the skins
mclagan’s still in notting hill, ernie’s in battersea
so get a load of john the bog and lay a load on me
yeah get a load of john the bog and lay a load on me

- mike absalom lyrics

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