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mike oxlong - the negotiator lyrics

[intro: the narrator & mike oxlong]
once, mike just watching, the thunders in the sky (1 and a 2)
mike, although a grown man, still has a fear for it (3 and a 4)
but what he never feared, was to pop off (5 and a 6)
then eventually fall off (6 and a 7)
if the plan didn’t go as he planned (7 and a 8)
mike accepts what reality responded with (8 and a 9)
but, that’s not what really happened (9 to a 10)
mission was successful, no doubt about it (10 out of 10)

[verse 1: mike oxlong & dj humba]
mike does curb stomp on the back of your head like a corrupt cop seth rollins
teaching 40 year olds self s+x basics, i’m the too young enough seth rogen
break+dancing on the ring like scotty 2 hotty, the humor was d+mn+near broken
beat down the giant hate favors, mike be the first to do it like hulk hogan
they disappeared the f+ck outta my sight like stevie wonder for 24 hours (can’t see no hate!)
lil wayne said money on my mind, ever since i’ve been having money showers
mike should be the next superhero on stan lee’s list for rhyme+like powers (come over here!)
wait tom, you’re playing catch me if you can with barry allen a.k.a the flash
like every pauly shore movie out there, you belong to the trash (out the garbage!)
sit and watch so much racing games, just to watch one crash
give birth to some little haters, going the same direction as karl malone
if i got f+cking bill gates salary, i’ll have more than 6 phones
michael richards not hired enough, now i’m glad i’m not with these career gravestones

[chorus: mike oxlong & dj humba]
bargain for your career to be revived, this i call a negotiator
all the negative i attract in this world, to me
you’re just mike’s hater
to my entourage, don’t be like tony, don’t be a traitor
don’t worry girl, i won’t be gone for long, i’ll see you later
la+l+la+later (yo!), yo, la+l+la+later
la+l+la+later (yo!), yo, la+l+la+later
[verse 2: mike oxlong & dj humba]
men drowned in the p+ssy of pamela anderson, welcome to the real+life baywatch
vince vaughn, if it’s not the dodgeb+lls, it’s the bullets i dodge (catch up motherf+ckah!)
they ask mike what his choice at the bar, i tell him “go for the scotch”
i guess mike is like jeremy irons cause i play better as evil
lets get fast and furious in this b+tch, tokyo drift with 10% of vin diesel
crossing the line like mexicans that surround the word illegal (hopping out!)
danny glover, i’m getting too old for this sh+t that is more f+cking lethal
still here in my future, surprised i got the same name as michael j. fox
mike says he’s almost famous, hollywood is just a few blocks (lucky how?)
chris tucker told mike while high, he said that the rumors correct, money talks
a tribe called quest said we can kick it
orson welles, 70 plus years, then by the end i’m close to being finished

[verse 3: mike oxlong]
mike was riding dirty in a chevy impala with no relationship status
even if mike is all sorts of rich, i still prefer to stay in a palace
mike oxlong was like eazy+e, first time was just f+cking practice
can’t run like me because for your case, you is super asthmatic
everyone says “my life is like a movie” this and that but mikes just cinematic
i never fall of the spotlight like when chevy chase fell off the attic
boy meets world, motherf+ckas there are other topangas alike that are real
this plate looks like the clown, john wayne gacy’s last meal
the family matters but all mike need is some home improvement
childhood as an actor, yup, hollywood had mike as a student
going for a stuntman like jackass or the three stooges, the next episode of a nuisance
the downfall of a nickelodeon star, as far they’re the f+cking aviator
happy gilmore revenge plot line, for chubbs, i k!lled the f+cking alligator
adding up all the bottles and gambling i purchase, with a calculator
[chorus: mike oxlong & dj humba]
bargain for your career to be revived, this i call a negotiator
all the negative i attract in this world, to me
you’re just mike’s hater
to my entourage, don’t be like tony, don’t be a traitor
don’t worry girl, i won’t be gone for long, i’ll see you later
la+l+la+later (yo!), yo, la+l+la+later
la+l+la+later (yo!), yo, la+l+la+later

[outro: dj humba]
we gone!

- mike oxlong lyrics

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