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mike writes and the epperson airplane - golden age (sweet taissa) lyrics

h-llo, you bunch of f-cking idiots
i’d like to introduce you to the fundamentalist feminist, the world’s greatest living lyricist (slow down)
oh, you ain’t hearing this? you still ain’t get the picture yet?
take a slow drag of this magicuana cigarette
the cannabis is hybrid, results in expanding of the eyelids
until you look like amanda seyfried
ah, now you see i’m too ether for a label
i’ll eat a rapper anytime, like pizza on a bagel
snack up, now i’m working as adjunct
gasping at this cr-p stub from last month
like hol’ back up, i don’t teach math, son, but somethin’ don’t add up
i’m ’bout to choke this dean until he starts couching cash up
i’m trying to f-ck rap up, because my life is sh-t
a mouse scurried cross my room when i was writing this
so come join the enlightenment of the fundamentalist feminist, the world’s greatest lyricist
and wake up, you f-cking idiots

smack a n-gga in the mouth, stab his mother in the eyeball
i brawl like mike tys in his prime
you think you can f-ck wit mike writes when he rhymes?
man, i been doing this sh-t since 95, when i was nine, and you prob wasn’t alive
y’all can’t mess with me
drake’s the only rapper who can f-ck with me, and that’s only s-xually
no, no, i’m not kidding; i certainly mean this
when i say i want drake to murder my p-n-s
sorry, man, but i don’t give a f-ck if this dude was my own brother
i’d still f-ck him with no rubber
bend him over on a plastic chair, grab his hair, smack his rear
and f-ck him so hard, i put him back in that degr-ssi chair
(ay, cuz, how you gonna be a g-y thug?)
i’ll smack a n-gga with a signed copy of same love
and sing “you can’t hold us,” idiots
the feminists of rap came to crack yo’ gl-ss ceiling to a million bits
this rap sh-t gets d-mn boring
i’m not a big fan of these rick santorums
so, f-ck your decorum; it’s mike epperson
do it for the hood and the rich white thespians

like kate, muhf-cka
i’m makin’ ’em, makin’ ’em, makin’ ’em suffer
makin’ ’em, makin’ ’em, makin’ ’em suffer
so many reblogs, i’m breakin’ the tumblrs
so many reblogs, they gon’ think i’m f-cking david karp
i just pulled a few strings and got joanna’s favorite harp
sweet taissa, only one who breaks my heart
the rest of you -ssh0l-s, rip your f-cking brains apart

let’s talk about the biggest haters in rap
those real hip-hop sn0bs who are so obsessed with taking it back
let’s be more creative than that and try advancing this
stop moving back like some broke college graduates
no, don’t overpraise the older days
the golden age is just a brick of sh-t with donut glaze
(remember when music was real and cartoons were great?)
no, you were a stupid, and music’s always been fake
see hip-hop is doing fine; no need to diss pop with juicy rhymes
ziploc your boos and whines ’bout how the music died
people have been saying that schlock
since the first n-ggas was banging on rocks
so shout out to the rappers that suck
i wish you happiness, luck, cash by the trucks
an actress to f-ck, and all that flashy platinum stuff
that make all the sn0bbish backpack rappers go nuts
and me? i’m on my way to dana scully
my s-xy lady special agent ginger baby loves me
f-ck you, dave duchovny, you will never take her from me
same goes for elaine and that f-cker david puddy

you awake, muhf-cka?
i’m makin’ ’em, makin’ ’em, makin’ ’em suffer
makin’ ’em, makin’ ’em, makin’ ’em suffer
so many reblogs, i’m breakin’ the tumblrs
so many reblogs, they gon’ think i’m f-cking david karp
i just pulled a few strings and got joanna’s favorite harp
sweet taissa, only one who breaks my heart
the rest of you -ssh0l-s, rip your f-cking brains apart

- mike writes and the epperson airplane lyrics

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