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mike zoot - fat chance lyrics

[intro: mike zoot talking]
this is a hate song. not a love song. it’s a hate song. cause i hate fat b-tches. yeah i said it. and fat b-tches hate me. haha. i’m telling you son…a fat broad son. a fat broad talking to me won, talking to me like that son. a fat broad talking to me son. mike zoot son. i’m trying to tell you man

[verse]
my confidant, colleges and peers lend me your ears
and three dollars more for two more beers
anyways i was where
i usually be
you know the block down there?
so begins the current affair, yeah
it must’ve been about 80 degrees
it was me, sai and rich on the way uptown to check these three cheeses
now the rules on blind dates is it don’t matter just squeeze
soft black tissue
i issue them deez
and then i breeze like cool
love don’t live here in the 90’s
gal i’m rude like dog
dutch n-gga, crazy grimy
stick to mad m-ssive, young girls we adore
so anyway we parked out front and walked up to the sixth floor
and be greeted by quite frankly, three very large women
d-mn, i knew i shouldn’t have came, i knew rich was bullsh-tting
about some freaks we could meet
i bite my tongue and cheek slowly
meeting milis and keke and they cousin niaomi
now the first two was for son and son and the third one’s for me
i sat down feeling stressed and roll myself up a tree
now niaomi weighted about i’d say ah about 276
about 5’2″, give or take a half an inch
yo i’m not touching this b-tch
yo i don’t even want the head
i’m just gon’ sit here on the sofa listening to mixtapes instead
i’m just kicking it
furthest thing on my mind is hitting it
i wasn’t even listening till she said some real sh-t
’bout when she went to college back at texas a&m
that’s where she met the father of her children
we started building concepts on society and just on n-ggas in general
so i kicked back the whole concept on society of us n-ggas
and the sh-t we been through
she couldn’t understand my mental but i admired her whole outlook
she sees life simple
and talks like a lady
hmmm, you don’t get that much
so yo i knocked off the ashes and cold p-ssed the dutch
she took three draws, turned up the royal flush
i was like “yo, you like that?”
“yo that’s the joint.”
“yo this the part, chill, hush.”
(you sensitive)
now my mouth open wide
:i was just wilding off that same part up in the ride”
so i ask, “is this the bathroom?” and walks inside
i’m kinda like, “feeling this fat b-tch, i must be high.”
well godd-mn if i am you can’t see it in my eyes
quickly stepping back outside, “yo where was we?”
“now your zodiac sign? please something about us.”
she said, “i don’t know about all this ‘us’ but yo my signs aquarius.”
born and raised in brownsville, shorty keeps it real
intelligent, full figured sister, with lots of s-x appeal
now you don’t gotta tell me twice
that’s quite easily seen
my young queen from the ghetto, pretty eyes, hazel green
i just can’t put my hand on it, it’s much more than physical
attraction almost spiritual, you know me here with you
but as we continue on that while feeling this
i p-ssionately wet my lips and prepare for wet kiss
moved her hair across her face
and grip her tightly clutched fist by the wrist
seems she read the whole signal
she giggled just a little
with no real neckline
but the cutest little dimple on the cheekbone jiggle, oh so fine
and i swore she was fine till she drained the whole love pool
looked me in the face and said, “mike, you cool
ayo, thanks for the weed it was a sweet thing to do
it’s been a nice night but basically you’re just not my type.”
(what?!)
this can’t be right, i know my game down pat
so i go, “what’s the problem shorty?” she said, “just leave it at that.”
so i go, “you gotta tell me something.”
she said, “oh no, just stuff, now can we please forget about it?”
so i said, “that ain’t enough?
ah nah nah i’m saying that’s some real deal bullsh-t
i thought we was there. i know i felt it in the air
but hey forget it. don’t sweat it. i’m hip to your game.”
“don’t be acting like that. come on now, i’m sayin’.”
she said
so i stop in my tracks, “yo it’s dead
yo c’mon son i’m code red. i’m ’bout ready to be fled.”
the vibe’s led, i’m aggravated with a face that can’t fake it
shake my head agitated, she go “that’s how you gon’ take it?
since i smoked a little trees and drank a half a cup of liquor
i might as well just say it, i don’t f-ck with fat n-ggas.”

[mike zoot and girl arguing]
mike: fat? fat? b-tch-b-tch look at you?!
girl: b-tch? b-tch? who’s a b-tch? i ain’t no b-tch n-gga! you just tried to kiss me. i ain’t no b-tch. yo sit down, shut up!
mike: b-tch i’ll smack you
girl: you gon’ smack me?! you gon’ smack me little boy?! you ain’t smacking n0body! what, don’t hold me! what it is. motherf-cker

[sample]
“you got to be good to me. i’m gonna be good to you.”

- mike zoot lyrics

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