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mikelwj - dear diary (pt. 2) lyrics

[intro: mikelwj]
dear diary
this will be one of the last entries i will make for a while i think
i decided that, it’s time things change
and time i can be happy
so i am going to start new
thank you for always being there for me
thank you for helping me
thank you for listening

[verse 1: mikelwj]
this road to recovery’s honestly been a b-tch
it took all of my will to finally make the switch
i’m twenty years of age, but my weight says i’m ten
and i feel like in my life i have not one friend
i’ve been hurt too much, and my trust is all gone
it’s gotten to the point where i’m as frail as a fawn
all these guys are using me, saying my beauty’s true you see
but then they all abuse me, and none of it is news to me
they call it anorexia, my wish to be completely perfect
i remember telling them that all i want to be is worth it
my mom was worried when i didn’t have the strength to stand
calorie counting seems to be my only helping hand
life has me wondering why the hell am i even here
what ever happened to the people i once held near
i’m sick of everyone always telling me what to do
all i want is something that i can relate to

[chorus: mikelwj]
i’ve been used by guys, i’ve been hurt by girls
i’ve been hit by my mum, and cursed by the world
so i keep losing weight, just trying to be perfect
i’m waiting for somebody to tell me that i’m worth it (x4)

[verse 2: mikelwj]
does my story end here? thats all that i wanna know
i never thought that i’d end up feeling fully alone
in my room, no ones there, i cry myself to sleep
i wish that i could love, and live and just leave
breathe, i made it through another long day
finding fear in the words that i didn’t ever say
how can i match up to what the world says is beautiful
i look into the mirror and the me i see is unsuitable
tell me i’m beautiful, that’s all i really wanna hear
hold me close, and make all of the pain disappear
it’s unhealthy, i know i should treat myself better
i want someone to understand me down to the letter
but mark my words, i’ll be stronger then i ever was
i’ll be happy with myself, and honestly i never was
i need to move on, past this diary i’ve always kept
and all the pages that hold all the tears that i wept

- mikelwj lyrics

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