mikey bustos - kaldereta (shawn mendes, camila cabello - señorita parody) lyrics
mikey: “h+llo? mommy?”
“you’re gonna come visit me? yey!”
“okay, i’m going to cook for you”
my mommy said to cook her kaldereta
she’s flying to visit me from canada, to my provincial farm in asia
i’ve missed my momma
but there’s just one problem: i don’t want to k!ll my pet goat
she lands in manila
my mom called me saying i’m here
hi, mommy! welcome!
what do you want to eat?
goat kaldereta!
oh ok, mom! (oh my god!)
my pet goat!
his name is billy
raised it from when it was a kid
he depends on me, to take care of him, he says “babababaaaa…”
which mean “i love you so much!” (in goat language!)
my mommy said to cook her kaldеreta
she is now on her way hеre from manila
but i’m having a panic attack
cuz i don’t know what, to do i can’t k!ll my goat to make this pinoy dish
we call goat kaldereta: it’s made from potatos, carrots, tomato sauce
but the thing that is most important, this ingredient: goat meat, i must stew it, but i cannot do it, my god!
i have 2 hours to find a substitute for goat
can i add salmon?
or maybe chicken, or beef+ no! can’t do that!
cuz i don’t have the guts to k!ll any of my animals
nooooooo!
ooooohhh these pets are for petting, i can’t k!ll them
yes, i’m a farmer but i can’t k!ll my pets
i have to make my mommy’s kaldereta
she’s calling to make sure i’m ready for her
don’t worry mommy! it’s almost done!
she says, “thank you, son!”
oohhh i should just do it, i should grab the knife and start
making goat kaldereta
i feel like i am such a whimpy farmer my goat keeps saying “babababaaaa”
it means “love you, paaapaa!”
ooohhh my mom is coming, i have got to hurry on up
won’t be long before i see my mom, she’s expecting a feast cooked with love
like she did for me when i was young
goat kaldereta
i’ll do it for mom
for mom
(momma)
for mom
well, mommy, how is it?
love this kaldereta so much!
mikey: “yes”
mom: “but it’s not better than mine you know?”
mikey: “oh, hmph.”
mom: “and why does it taste like, plastic?”
mikey: “ummm… i don’t know…”
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