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millicow - train of thought lyrics

[verse 1]
welcome to my album, i hope you stay long
i was gonna name this one growing pains, but
then i found a toilet dumped by the railroad
so we took a picture of it and called it train of thought
and that’s a perfect fit for how this came about
it’s like i took a sh+t and picked the peanuts out
no lie i got hit by a speeding train of thought
cause i did not see it coming or hear the sound
and what you’re hearing now is a potent distillation
little slice of my life and the product of my patience
from my psychedelic mind, about the demons that i’m facing
from the angels that supply us with creative innovation
who really writes my rhymes? should i really take the credit?
are my thoughts even mine? do i collaborate with spirits?
if you could take a step inside and get a taste of how i’m feeling
you’d wonder how i survive in this trippy state of being
it’s like acid f+cking magic how i tap in when i’m rapping
stepping back into my past the baddest habit i can’t stop it
coming fast i let it happen with compassion fingers tapping
i’m an engine of creation can’t imagine being different
i’m an envelope that carries entertainment i deliver
clever message i’m invested, so obsessive got me restless
no protection to prevent imagination fertilization
so i spread into the heavens never+ending exploration
[verse 2]
freight train, fried brain, lay awake, make it rain
face pain, quatrains, paper stained, write for days
change ways, blank slate, take the reins, break the chains
play games, chase fame, make a name, pave my lane
come travel the tracks right behind my thought train
the ramblings that i simply cannot contain
they pester and nag until i am not sane
and never hold back, not until a songs made
it really ain’t no joke, it’s every f+cking day
every single thing i wrote all starting to sound the same
and i’m tempted to throw this f+cking song away
but i promised myself that i wouldn’t judge or hate
i just put out whatever junk i make
i’m not about to claim it’s bad or great
i run around my brain it doesn’t change
til i let out ideas from the cage
then i repeat them all so what’s the point
what does it mean when nothing stops the noise?
the only difference now is how they sound and rhyme
and have a rhythm rather than a constant burning grind
i live by music like religion yet
i also get the feeling that it’s meaningless
it’s so ridiculous, but it is what it is
still i gotta commit, to just keep on doing it
cause i was born for this sh+t, i cannot just quit
there’s always more words for my head to twist
there’s always more stories for me to rap and spit
once i get started it could never end
[verse 3]
people say i’m quiet but i’m not; you’re just loud
i’m not about this constant talking; it’s a cloud
that clogs my inner monologue
i’ve got enough sh+t going on
inside my constant dialogues, close my mouth
i’d rather write until it’s perfect, then i speak
the only time i want to be heard, is musically
and then i’ll never quiet down
for once you’ll hear me make a sound
and everybody listens now, finally
i dream of standing before crowds
i feel it happening right now
i hear them chanting millicow
i see them dancing and i’m proud
i see my family in front row
i see us living on the road
attracting this reality
magnetically no doubting me
i don’t think i’m craving praise
i just want to feel like i’m brave
by showing my face, exposing my pain
and being totally f+cking vulnerable on stage
boldly ignoring all the haters
cause there’s not much that you could say that
i don’t hear inside my brain
every single f+cking day
this album ain’t half of what i wanted it to be
the outcome is all i have and i just need to leave it be
my poetry outruns my musical ability i need
to breathe cause i’m about to lose my mind again oh jeez
this is my self portrait and i hope it sounds hypnotic when i
rap to you my stories all about my constant chronic inner
chatter can’t avoid it so i devote some songs about it and like
magic they’re immortal and they will live on without me
and i’ll die happy

- millicow lyrics

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