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minivan helsing - englishprojectsong lyrics

busting a beat up like unions at amazon
planning on
using my time ineffectively
sit on my couch like a vegetable
i’m unpresentable
but acceptable collectively

i nearly choked while posing with my celery
taking a picture it’s still in my gallery
salary made up entirely out of old ukazoo gift cards i found neath the batteries

allergies kicking in
guess it’s my season
my nose is bleeding it’s taken a beating
from sneezing like all of the time for some reason
it’s one of the things that’s keeping me from sleeping

they tell me it’s pollen
but i’m not outside
cuz i’m locked in my house almost all of the time
cuz it’s hot or it’s cold or it’s windy or something
the moral i guess is that doctors might lie

guess you could say that they doctored the facts
the alternative is that it’s cuz of my cats
but that’s unacceptable
treasonous even
so i’m grasping onto alternative reasons
rap i’m addicted i’m hopping back in it
i’m the best poser you’ll see for a minute
i did some battles way back as a freshman
but i mean it’s park it’s not tricky to win it

but still i’m the king of it
i’m feeling regal
finger gun slinging
so call me spike spiegel
humbly this rap’s kinda gas
kinda diesel
i’m flinging people who’re biting like seagulls

so good it’s illegal you all are abetting
i’m setting a standard that no one is catching
i have like a hundred snippets in my phone but most are sorta murdery for a school setting

saying my attack tactics are half+assed it’s tragic
i just came to cause panic and lacking havoc a racket
like tennis
feel like dennis the menace cuz i’m a classic
try to beat me and find yourself in a pickle like vlasic

previously pleased to play the part of the passionate pacifist
but violence is prescribable to a place where a fascist is
i got a bat i stuck some nails in preparation for problems
bound for purgatory at a pace that’s prolly a slalom
i probably got em
bopping heads when the song starts
then possibly segue into meaning like paul blart
i mean regardless the product’s not something you’d call art
but it’s buzzing like my phone is the minute a call starts

- minivan helsing lyrics

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