miracles of modern science - secret track lyrics
now listen here, young sonny jim
and i’ll tell you how i lost my limbs…
one day when i was playing darts
i punctured all my body parts
i quelled the pain by downing gin
which worked until gangrene set in
oh doctor, my fate’s looking grim
but can’t you please restore my limb?
“i’m sorry, son, you came too late
we’re going to have to amputate”
the operation now complete
devoid of arms, legs, hands and feet
i slither home, only to find
my wife being rooted from behind
and oh, it rends my heart to see
such vile adulterous sodomy
but before i can even speak
she screams “away, you limbless freak!”
(“you bean of a man!”)
(“it’s true…”)
i saw my baby with a cyborg
i saw my baby with a robot
i saw my baby with a human being
i saw my baby with a (roo?)
i saw my baby with a (blaaahrh?)
i saw my baby with a (efwjofoef?)
i saw my baby with a wallaby
i saw my baby with a dingo
i saw my baby in australia
but oh, my dear, i shan’t lose face
i’ll simply have my limbs replaced
with robot legs, with which to tread
and robot claws to crush your head
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