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mistake of color - sain't joseph lyrics

[intro]
make it easier
if i don’t breathe until i sleep
i pray the lord my soul to keep
if i don’t make it ’til i leave
i pray the lord will bring me peace

[verse 1]
said i done sent so many messages to numbers in my phone
n0body hits me up, i swear it’s lonely on this road
still battlin’ addictions, that’s somethin’ i can’t control
try to find the piece that’s missin’
find missin’ variables

said i’m very able to construct the life i’m livin’
then self destruct, cause i can’t level up the rhymes i’ve written
i question every word ’n every sentence that i’m mixin’ up, the mixer mixes up the pain through statements that i’m givin’
it’s ironic that i’m giftin’

these flows in these pockets
but when i reach into my pocket
(pull out my) desolated wallet (yeah)

i’m speakin’ out to heaven, askin’ god to give me knowledge
unresponse is the response ,so i keep movin’, i keep walkin’ (yeah)
i keep walkin’, but lately, i been crawlin’
got thoughts of suicide upon my mind, it’s so appaulin’
like i should slit upon my wrist until the blades dissolvin’
cause my brain is so acidic that my blood is gettin’ toxic

[pre+chorus]
i swear it’s really hard sometimes, to find my way
so i lay in silence, don’t complain
but i can’t take this, no, it’s been too long
i ask mary what i’m doing wrong

’n when times get rough, and time moves on
i feel stuck inside, ’n i cry through songs
& dissolve ‘till i’m not breathin’
saint joseph, do you hear me speakin’?

[chorus]
is all of this fiction?
is all of this real
cause n0body listens, when
i try to self heal

feel my emotions causin’ damage
i don’t know how to stand it
if i could have a chance then
i+ i swear i’d do this all over again
[verse 1]
penny’s is my profit
penniless till i’m not stoppin’
got some goals i can’t accomplish ‘cause i’m focused on some nonsense

i try to write when the pen is beggin’ me ’n callin’
cause i’ll answer when i’m called, know what it’s like when someone doesn’t

times that i have been betrayed are reachin’ near a dozen
i just want someone who’s lovin’, engages in my discussions
as i question every artifact of faith that i’ve been huggin’
to the part above my stomach that beats life ’n keeps me runnin’

yeah
the heart, the key, that lies beneath
the lock, the screen, that covers me
emotionly been drowinin’ out my sorrows wit’ my vices

if i’m the seed, who planted me?
& nourished me till i could be
free amongst the motherland ’n walk among the giants?

cause days when there’s no hope, ’n i feel lonesome, i feel tired
i walk among a wire that leads me to my desires
so tell me, if my god is all+forgivin’, ’n he’s righteous
does that mean he has a right to cast his child’s prayers aside
[pre+chorus]
i swear it’s really hard sometimes, to find my way
so i lay in silence, don’t complain
but i can’t take this, no, it’s been too long
i ask mary what i’m doing wrong

’n when times get rough, and time moves on
i feel stuck inside, ’n i cry through songs
& dissolve ‘till i’m not breathin’
saint joseph, do you hear me speakin’?

[chorus]
is all of this fiction?
is all of this real
cause n0body listens, when
i try to self heal (heal, heal, heal, heal)

feel my emotions causin’ damage
i don’t know how to stand it
if i could have a chance then
i+ i swear i’d do this all over again

- mistake of color lyrics

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