mitch benn and the distractions – tea party lyrics
[intro]
my aunt and uncle came to tea on sunday afternoon
i laid the table properly with plates and silver spoons
i baked a special cake and everybody really liked it
it might have been the half an ounce of dope with which i’d spiked it!
[verse 1, in a reggae style]
me auntie stared right at me and she said ‘that cake was nice’
and since she’d eaten all me biscuits i said ‘have another slice’
me uncle was content to slump in front of the tv
and that’s when things got strange cuz i’d put acid in thе tea!
[verse 2, in a psychedelic style]
after 20 minutes, auntiе starting acting odd
she said ‘could you turn the telly down, i’m on the phone to god’
my uncle explained the secrets of the universe to me
and i found it all quite boring so i slipped them both an e!
[verse 3, in a rave style]
me auntie jumped around the room with both arms in the air
me uncle ripped his shirt off and he got up on a chair
they began to wave their hands about in interesting shapes
and making whooping noises like a pair of happy apes
they were shouting:
‘jammy, jammy, jammy, jammy dodgers!
toasty, toasty, toasty, toasty teacakes!
b+ttery, b+ttery, b+ttery, b+ttery crumpets!
spongey, spongey, spongey, spongey fingers!’
they slowly disappeared into a cloud of perspiration
then they bounced and bounced and bounced and both collapsed from dehydration!
[outro]
i phoned me auntie yesterday and said ‘did you have a fun day?’
she’d said it was terrific and they’re coming back on sunday!
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