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moko (uk) - survival mode lyrics

[verse 1]
yo
i had this shawty telling me i’m gon’ be miserable
i’m like i beat you to the punch my life unthinkable
said i’m impossible to love ’cause i’m too cynical
but maybe when this end and done i’ll be invincible
i’m burning bridges, cuttin’ ties because of principle
i used to dream of living quiet, living minimal
now it’s the middle of the night, i’m thinking critical
thinking what’s the point in life if it ain’t spiritual
hmm, yeah i’m still looking at the physical
head gone and i’ve been living off residuals
i ain’t praying, i ain’t hoping for a miracle
’cause everybody any cousin know i lyrical
this is rapper one million and one
give me two wishes it’s a billion, a gun
i think life’s kinda dumb, i can’t lie, beyond numb
so i’m playing in the fire in the hopes i get bun
life didn’t give me nothing, not a crumb
heard life’s what you make it, then you make it and it’s done
all seems kinda sad [?] glum
or maybe it’s a game and we’re just here to have fun
that’d be nice, but i doubt it
tryna make a living but i’m living like i’m drowning
need a flat rate but i been going ’round the houses
you want some real rap if they a hunnid, i’m a thousand
still they claim the rap game too crowded
to let mok’s in, if i’m honest i’m astounded
that they think that i can’t see that it’s a fix when i’m around it
truth is they got power, if i blow there’d be an outage
i’m young, lit and handsome
could be around trees like randoms
go and ask the mandem
don’t life look dark where i’m standing
the trap’s still a trap that i ain’t tryna get trapped in
so how do i feel? kinda low but forever real
they know my sk!lls but no applause when i left the field
these girls trickin’, they play my ego and s+x appeal
and a record it’s something that mok’s can forever k!ll
if i wanted to
i hate when music feel like something that i gotta do
i tell my ex there ain’t a day i haven’t wanted you
but she just play me like a fiddle sh+t is horrible
i’m arrogant, i feel like if not deserving on me
i talk to god like why’d you have to put them burdens on me
i try to be there from my son i hope he’s learning from me
but i’m still up at night tweaking not discerning properly
i’m trying hard, i swear i’m trying but my patience running
if i’m lying, then i’m dying what’s it taking from me
gotta a penny to my name, again i’m back at nuttin’
people tell me how to live like i been dead or suttin’
but let me let the song bleed, hmm
cah my hearts done enough, kick back, bill a one [?]
the girl i’m in love with doesn’t want me
and my rap careers dud i need a monthly wage
you don’t know this taste ain’t bittersweet, it’s bitter bitter
listen n+gga, i wish i did it bigger
talking to god at night and we’re both saying you don’t listen n+gga
been a winner, been a loser, still a sinner
in this f+ck life, screaming out f+ck life
thirty with more that two packs like it’s thug life
where i grew, if you see sh+lls keep your tongue tied
how could i love life with trauma from my love life
them things that i’ll never understand
playing in my head it’s like a curse to be a man, in this day and age
that’s why i stay away
finally praying for me, i’m just like pray away
heaven ain’t a day away, or a mile away
but if it was, i’d be ’round there right away
like god you better find a way
to keep my cake up, my lifestyle stay f+cked
i’m running from the trap but can never get away from the fact it might be my best option
chillin’ in a party like i shoulda brought some rocks in
get a pattern poppin’
take my bm shopping
pattern up my yout’ and let him see his daddy flossin’
but truth is, we all know how that story goes
i ain’t gonna bore you though
well maybe i’m paying like footy home
my ex think i’m pablo escobar, i’m a normal bloke
i done a few things where i grew, that’s normal though
i’m just a calm yout’ to tell the truth but when my scrilla gets low
i’ll go and do some things you probably never do
it’s an equation of life, any way to survive, we survive
can’t look you in the eyes, cah the pain that i hide is too deep darg
my life is too peak, i got ptsd i’m paranoid, i lose sleep
miss my son every day, i see him every two weeks
people round me my whole life, but it ain’t never knew me
myself to myself and my mental health
when all else fails i’m like, let me get some scales
i’m seeing, l to l to l to l like west wickham
i’m really seeing h+ll prevail
but f+ck it i’m still here, i’d be lying if i told you my vision was still clear
darg i’m out here blind
i ain’t caught a break yet, but i’m out here trying
i’m doing uber but i’m like i could be out here flying
wait i’m lying my ped got robbed from my driveway
cash flow gone, i’m like why even try mate
’cause every time i get a rhythm in my life i see the tempo change
then the sinner come alive inside me
and then it’s negative mok’s, f+ck all that glass sh+t
don’t be telling me hope
n+gga i’m passed it, i could be sellin this dope
living that fast sh+t you know that never grow old
and then i think about my yout’ and then it’s a catch two two
i can’t live with myself if i can’t see him through
this wretched life and make sure he doesn’t have to try
all the things i’ve tried, just to try and survive
[outro]
you know
like i wonder if that’s a just a me problem, though like
you know
you know when you’re just not, you know when you’re just not grateful?
like, you know you want more like?
i can’t help but want more, you know?
it’s a me thing, i think

- moko uk lyrics

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