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molly rice - i'm sorry everybody lyrics

this one’s for jane

when they adopted me
they changed my name
from honora
honora to jane
do you think something was lost when i became jane?
because i know i’m not the same
as you++i’m not the same

my father was a tailor who went insane
my father was a tailor who went insane
i was drawn to nursing like a moth to a flame
the grim hand clutching my starched arm
the spasm dissolving into stillness

i am the shield+maiden wielding the flame
i am the shield+maiden wielding the flame

those that i liked i would nudge out to sea, just to see
but bring back before dark
they loved me more for it
what is more delicious than “almost”?
those that i hated i sent to the deep
those that i hated i sent to the deep
the blacks of their eyes like the black of the deep
ebbing and flowing, the black of the deep++

i’m sorry everybody
i’m sorry i can’t feel it
i’m sorry everybody
i’m sorry i can’t feel it

first with the atrophine, then with the morphine
ebb and flow, large and small
their pupils grow so large and shrink so small++
ebb and flow, large and small
i climb into bed and hold you, mesmerized mesmerized
i don’t know why but i can’t take my eyes
off your eyes off your eyes
something cosmic and eternal, like planets or stars
ebb and flow, large and small
i’m sorry everybody
i’m sorry i can’t feel it
i’m sorry everybody
i’m sorry i can’t feel it

was there ever anyone who wanted you to love them
in a way that you could not
in a way you did not feel
who asked for too much
++there was, wasn’t there?
and you had to say:

i’m sorry
i’m sorry i can’t feel it
i’m sorry
i’m sorry i can’t feel it

“when i try to picture it, i say to myself, i have poisoned minnie camps, my dear friend. i have poisoned mrs. gordon. i have poisoned mr. and mrs. davis. this does not convey anything to me and when i try to sense the condition of the children and all the consequences, i cannot realize what an awful thing it is. why don’t i feel sorry and grieve over it? i cannot make sense of it at all.”

i’m sorry minnie camps
i’m sorry mrs. gordon
i’m sorry mr. and mrs. davis
i’m sorry my sister
i’m sorry i can’t feel it
i’m sorry prosecutors!
i’m sorry i don’t feel it
i’’m sorry judge and jury!
i’m sorry i don’t feel it

i’m sorry to my jailers!
i’m sorry i don’t feel it
i’m sorry everybody!
i’m sorry i don’t feel it

- molly rice lyrics

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