momus - bertie the heterosexual lyrics
he knows no fear
the icicles dangling from his nose
so straight he’s queer
in a polar explorer pose
borecore to the hilt
he knows no fear
black with white guilt
into a lady’s right to disagree
must fall a little rain
he’s on the side of whatever is
popping balloons at mr malarkey’s parade
bertie the heteros-xual
can’t keep his hands off the maid
and it’s a rum go, don’t you know
all so healthily hetero
the asymmetrical englishman
better the devil you know
borecore to the hilt
he knows no fear
black with white guilt
he’s not too proud to make a fuss
about the rights he took from us
queer with straight guilt
drinking champagne mixed with old rain
from the old baronial seat
waving his pretty sword
your overlord
and it’s a rum go, don’t you know
all so healthily hetero
the asymmetrical englishman
better the devil you know
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