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momus - the cheque's in the post lyrics

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me and my lawyer sat down and worked out
the full cost of the wrongs i have done you
and i’m sending the money to you
the cheque’s in the post

for giving you h-ll
when i should have been treating you well
reparation: 500 £5 notes in a roll

for remarks about your weight
for complaining when you were late
compensation: £2000, the going rate

for the times we were out
and my eye kept roving about
settling on younger women
fifteen hundred, say it’s forgiven

running total: £6 350
with tax added on
and that’s just the end of verse one

for attacking your superst-tion
your pantheistic new age religion
say the sum of £1797

when i said your new dress wasn’t splendid
when i told you the way the film ended
i know i was wrong: accept this token
£7000

and for p-ssing the pictures i’d taken
of your body totally naked
around our friends
let’s call it a round £9 000

running total: £24 063
on its way to you
and this is just the end of verse two

me and my lawyer sat down and worked out
the real cost of the wrongs i have done you
and i’m sending the money to you
the cheque’s in the post

and for my next indiscretion
when we had s-x on the floor of the kitchen
i sang it in a song — accept 10 000 — make that 11 000 pounds

and for failing to give enough time
to the baby that could have been mine
it’s not that i don’t care
my love it’s just so hard to find a figure

worst of all i stopped loving your body
making you feel so low
though my lawyer says no blame can be apportioned
for circ-mstances beyond my control
so now i’m all paid up
and absolved from this guilt
i’m going to get another girl in
under my quilt
and run up
another m-ssive debt

hail mary, pray for me now
now and at the hour of my death

- momus lyrics

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