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momus - the homosexual (live) lyrics

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i love women but i’m thinking of giving in
i love women but what’s the point of arguing
with the men from boarding schools and building sites
who’ve told me i’m a h0m-s-xual all my life

one stop past embankment and the coughs begin
h-ll hath no fury like an insecure englishman
you don’t need psycho-n-lysts to translate this
‘there is an open h0m-s-xual in our midst’

‘the h0m-s-xual’ they call me
it’s all the same to me
that spectre they projected i will now pretend to be
since their neurosis is what p-sses for normality
it’s okay with me if i’m queer
since their tone-deafness is called the love of music
i won’t disabuse them
i’ll make love with their women
i’ll make them sing notes of pleasure
their husbands will never hear

i love women but i take them by surprise
pretending absolute indifference to their br–sts and thighs
like their hairdressers and dressmakers i hear confessionals
reserved for h0m-s-xual professionals

as i put their feet in stirrups with my limp wrist
(a trick i learned from a h0m-s-xual gynaecologist)
i recall the words my first girlfriend ended our first date with
“i feel privileged you chose me to go straight with”

‘the h0m-s-xual’ they call me
it’s all the same to me
that spectre they projected i will now pretend to be
since their neurosis is what p-sses for normality
it’s okay with me if i’m queer
since their tone-deafness is called the love of music
i won’t disabuse them
i’ll make love with their women
i’ll make them sing notes of pleasure
their husbands will never hear

you who called me shirt-lifter in chemistry cl-ss
you who sn-ggered “look out for your -rs-”
now your women wash your shirts, now your kids are born, baby, look out for your h-rns

you who called me teapot, who plagued me with your bile
guess who i’ve got coming to the boil
why not grab the nettle i’ll settle for being the kettle if you’re the pot
i take my tea like my revenge: sweet and hot

‘the h0m-s-xual’ they call me
it’s all the same to me
that spectre they projected i will now pretend to be
since their neurosis is what p-sses for normality
it’s okay with me if i’m queer
since their tone-deafness is called the love of music
i won’t disabuse them
i’ll make love with their women
i’ll make them sing notes of pleasure
their husbands will never hear

‘the h0m-s-xual’ you call me
it’s all the same to me
that spectre you projected i will now pretend to be
since your neurosis is what p-sses for normality
it’s okay with me if i’m queer
since your tone-deafness is called the love of music
i won’t disabuse you
i’ll make love with your women
i’ll make them sing notes of pleasure
that you will never hear
never in a million years
no f-cking fear

- momus lyrics

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