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monst - big dipper lyrics

in every sense, i met you in a state of no control
your hands grab my neck, it’s something i’ve longed for
but it’s not for affection, and it’s not for pleasure
you’re choking me to death because it makes you feel better
i totally get it, you know i understand
i’ve been ranting for so long about how i don’t understand
you still try to console me, i never do the same
when you’re done with my neck, can you tear out my brain

now before the bitter ending, let us rewind
we found each other on the dark side of university dr
you jumped out behind the dumpster next to 227 w
type of story only seen in dreams, can’t wait for the rest

i’m so glad that we’ve finally met
there are so many questions i been dying to ask, like
where’d you get that tank top, and how slow’s the coffee shop
and why’d you have me waitin so long, let’s hang out til dawn
now i’m drunk with love, and sober without sass
i am finally cured, let’s hope it don’t fizzle fast
i took you to see julie, and you said you loved me
but when i took you too see my band play, i never woke up so sad

the big dipper, i still see it in the sky
i coulda sworn we saw it vanish in the dead of night
and i still ain’t got good fashion, still wear them beat+up shoes
i’m devolving back to egoist, thought i could break through
that sad outcome, how do we get there?
i cannot change the outside world, no matter how hard i stare
it changes through perception, if you could only change yourself
but that’s so hard to do all alone, i needed all your help
(my spoon only bend when i’m trying to scoop out ice creme.)

yesterday i saw someone who looked a lot like you
i almost went and asked them questions, i’m glad i chose not to

i’d say:
can you heal me mentally?
can you sing a melody?
can you be a friend to me?
can you please just rescue me?

so i can go home and enjoy something
i can feel my existence fading
all i need in paradise is being loved and i’ll feel right
do i have to earn it or will i just get there some time?

who’s there? what’s that?
is the bonus room door open again?
“no, it’s not
how the h+ll did you fall for that trick again
go, to sleep
i assure you you’ll better in the morning
shut, your mouth
you know i could never love you more than+”

- monst lyrics

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