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montreal - masturbation saved my life lyrics

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all my life i tried to be a boy – quite popular with girls
i bought them flowers bought them sweeties – and gave them compliments
but as i’m ugly i’ve got problems gettin’ girls into my room
when i watch them i touch them – they scream and run away

so i decided t’have some pleasure lying lonely in my room
i get my clothes off touch my p-n-s and feel the gluey stuff

when i’m lonely i’m used to m-st-rb-t- a lot!
masturbation, h-ll masturbation saved my life!

now i’m 60 on retirement and my hand’s still my best friend
i’m still used to jack off twice a day to keep the pain away

- montreal lyrics

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