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monty harper - it's hard to love a reptile lyrics

[verse 1]
the day when we learned the aquarium burned
my sister went there to inquire
could she answer the need to help shelter and feed
a few creatures they’d saved from the fire
dad was happy to take in a fish or a snake
knowing homes would be found for them later
but none of us thought she’d bring home what she brought +
a three hundred pound alligator!

[chorus]
it’s hard to love a reptile
when you know that she don’t love you back;
when your gazes connect and you start to suspect
she’s been thinking of you + as a snack!
and you can’t cuddle up much cause being in her clutch
you’d fear she may tear you apart
it’s so hard to love a reptile
with dry scaly skin, a wide toothy grin
and a three+chambered, cold+blooded heart!
[verse 2]
they’d named her lucinda cause she was luesistic
which colored her skin ghostly white
and the scales on her tail rubbed the sides of the bathtub
which kept me awake late at night
i glimpsed my demise in her steely teal eyes
when she’d turn ’em to stare my direction
“don’t you worry,” said sis. “there is nothing amiss
she’s just hungry for your sweet affection!”

[verse 3]
she ate like the d+ckens and swallowed whole chickens
without ever needing to chew
i was mighty relieved by the call we received
when they’d found her a home at the zoo
as i said to lucinda, “goodbye greedy friend,”
a new feeling crept up from down deeper
i surprised even me when a tear trickled free
and i blubbered out, “why can’t we keep her?”
[chorus]
it’s hard to love a reptile
when you know that she don’t love you back;
when your gazes connect and you start to suspect
she’s been thinking of you + as a snack!
and you can’t cuddle up much cause being in her clutch
you’d fear she may tear you apart
it’s so hard to love a reptile
with dry scaly skin, a wide toothy grin
and a three+chambered, cold+blooded heart!

- monty harper lyrics

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