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monty python - every sperm is sacred lyrics

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[dad:]
there are jews in the world.
there are buddhists.
there are hindus and mormons, and then
there are those that follow mohammed, but
i’ve never been one of them.

i’m a roman catholic,
and have been since before i was born,
and the one thing they say about catholics is:
they’ll take you as soon as you’re warm.

you don’t have to be a six-footer.
you don’t have to have a great brain.
you don’t have to have any clothes on. you’re
a catholic the moment dad came,

because

every sperm is sacred.
every sperm is great.
if a sperm is wasted,
god gets quite irate.

[children: ]
every sperm is sacred.
every sperm is great.
if a sperm is wasted,
god gets quite irate.

[girl:]
let the heathen spill theirs
on the dusty ground.
god shall make them pay for
each sperm that can’t be found.

[children:]
every sperm is wanted.
every sperm is good.
every sperm is needed
in your neighborhood.

[mum: ]
hindu, taoist, mormon,
spill theirs just anywhere,
but god loves those who treat their
s-m-n with more care.

[men:]
every sperm is sacred.
every sperm is great.
[women:]
if a sperm is wasted,…
children:
…god get quite irate.

[priest: ]
every sperm is sacred.
bride and groom:
every sperm is good.
[nannies: ]
every sperm is needed…
cardinals:
…in your neighbourhood!

[children: ]
every sperm is useful.
every sperm is fine.
[funeral cortege: ]
god needs everybody’s.
[mourner #1:]
mine!
[mourner #2: ]
and mine!
[corpse:]
and mine!

[nun: ]
let the pagan spill theirs
o’er mountain, hill, and plain.
holy statues:
god shall strike them down for
each sperm that’s spilt in vain.

[everyone: ]
every sperm is sacred.
every sperm is good.
every sperm is needed
in your neighborhood.

every sperm is sacred.
every sperm is great.
if a sperm is wasted,
god gets quite iraaaaaate!

- monty python lyrics

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