monty python - the naval medley lyrics
(men)
isn’t it awfully nice to have a p-n-s?
and isn’t it frightfully good to have a dong?
it’s swell to have a stiffy
it’s divine to own a d-ck
from the tiniest little tadger
to the world’s biggest pr-ck
so, three cheers for your w-lly or john thomas
hooray for your one-eyed trouser snake
your piece of pork, your wife’s best friend
your percy, or your c-ck
you can wrap it up in ribbons
you can slip it in your sock
but don’t take it out in public
or they will stick you in the dock
and you won’t come back
(women)
it’s fun to own your own v-g-n-
it’s great to have your friendly thatch
your minge, your tw-t, your kitty cat
your nest, your nasty or your sn-tch
it’s great to have a monkey furrow
your finger pie, your lunchbox or your catch
your cameltoe, your bearded clam
your bottom at the front
your monkey minge
your m-ffin
or your old sir berkely hunt
your honeypot, your hairy friend
but never call it “c-nt”
or we won’t come back
(men)
isn’t it awfully nice to own a bottom
isn’t it frightfully good to have an -rs-
it’s swell to own a tushy
it’s divine to have a scut
from the skinniest little b-ttocks
to the worlds largest b-tt
three cheers for your posterior or -n-s
hooray for your lovely sit-upon
[wolf-whistle]
your fundament, your f-nny, your cheeky little dear
your rump, your hauch, your hams
your stern, your f-nny or your rear
but be careful how you handle it or you’ll be caught, i fear
and you won’t come back
[naval captain (cleese)]
company, by the right…dress!
squad… camp it… hup!
[all]
my goodness me
i am in a bad temper today, all right
two, three, d-mn, d-mn
two, three, i’m vexed and ratty
two, three, and hopping mad, stamp, stamp
oooh, get her, whoops
i’ve got your number, ducky
well, you couldn’t afford me, dear, two, three
i’ll scratch your eyes out, two, three
meow! two, three
don’t come the rear admiral with us, dear
we all know where you’ve been, you royal naval fairy, two, three
left, right, left, right
mother’s kissing us tonight
whoops, don’t look now, girls
the captain’s just minced in with a dolly little seaman, two, three
oooooh, two, three
h-llo, sailor!
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