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monty python - the wise men at the manger lyrics

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holy music]

baby brian cohen: [crying]

wise man #1: ahem.

mandy cohen: ohhh! [whump] who are you?

wise man #1: we are three wise men.

mandy: what?!

wise man #1: we are three wise men.

mandy: well, what are you doing creeping around a cow
shed at two o’clock in the morning? that doesn’t sound
very wise to me.

wise man #3: we are astrologers.

wise man #1: we have come from the east.

mandy: is this some kind of joke?

wise man #2: we wish to praise the infant.

wise man #1: we must pay homage to him.

mandy: homage? you’re all drunk. it’s disgusting. out!
the lot, out!

wise man #1: no–

mandy: bursting in here with tales about oriental
fortune tellers. come on. out!

wise man #2: no, no. we must see him.

mandy: go and praise someone else’s brat! go on!

wise man #2: we–

wise man #1: we were led by a star.

mandy: or led by a bottle, more like. go on. out!

wise man #1: well– well, we must see him. we have
brought presents.

mandy: out!

wise man #2: gold. frankincense. myrrh.

mandy: well, why didn’t you say? he’s over there. —
sorry the place is a bit of a mess. well, what is
myrrh, anyway?

wise man #3: it is a valuable balm.

mandy: a balm? what are you giving him a balm for? it
might bite him.

wise man #3: what?

mandy: that’s a dangerous animal. quick! throw it in
the trough.

wise man #1: no, it isn’t.

mandy: yes, it is. it’s great, big mmm…

wise man #3: no, no, no. it is an ointment.

mandy: aww, there is an animal called a balm,… or did
i dream it? so, you’re astrologers, are you? well, what
is he then?

wise man #2: hmm?

mandy: what star sign is he?

wise man #2: uh, capricorn.

mandy: uhh, capricorn, eh? what are they like?

wise man #2: ooh, but… he is the son of god, our
messiah.

wise man #1: king of the jews.

mandy: and that’s capricorn, is it?

wise man #2: uh, no, no, no. that’s just him.

mandy: ohh, i was going to say, ‘otherwise, there’d be
a lot of them.’ [sniff]

wise man #1: by what name are you calling him?

mandy: uh, ‘brian’.

wise men: we worship you, o brian, who are lord over us
all. praise unto you, brian, and to the lord, our
father. amen.

mandy: do you do a lot of this, then?

wise man #2: what?

mandy: this praising.

wise man #2: no, no. no, no.

mandy: er, well, um, if you’re dropping by again, do
pop in. heh. and thanks a lot for the gold and
frankincense, er, but don’t worry too much about the
myrrh next time. all right? heh. thank you. good-bye.
well, weren’t they nice? hmm. out of their bl–dy
minds, but still.



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