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mr. nicky - ancient rome lyrics

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r-r-r, romulus r-r-r, remus (repeat)
the tiber river’s running through rome (repeat)
rome!

(voice of augustus):

i’m “one who commands”
ruling all provinces in my empire
build aquaducts and
say my name’s augustus
it’s the pax romana

nah, walk into the forum through the arch made of marble rock
grand uncle caesar joined up with cleopatra
if he hadn’t died on the ides he’d see me
and he’d say “man, that’s how i beat pompey”

armies are obeying me
goods are moving really free
government’s efficient
and there’s pax (latin word for peace)

no more of these punic wars
fighting over sicily
hannibal crossed the alps
still carthage couldn’t beat
. . .scipio afric-n-s. .
and hannibal had elephants!

we were a republic
a government run
by elected ones
who we call representatives
the branch that’s called the senate is
controlled by n0bles called patricians
but the poorer citizens and
workers were called plebeians
who chose the citizens’ -ssembly

my name’s on the calendar, my name’s on the calendar
no for real, look at august, my name’s on the calendar (augustus!)

we got concrete to build arch bridges
we got baths where you read and talk business

build the colosseum, fill the colosseum
get some gladiators, let the lions eat them

you know the roman empire’s growing
got to keep the conquered people from revolting

all of them should know the laws, plebeians and slaves will
see them in the forum and say “they’re the 12 tables.”

i’m “one who commands”
ruling all provinces in my empire
build aquaducts and
say my name’s augustus
it’s the pax romana

i’m “one who commands”
ruling all provinces in my empire
build aquaducts and
say my name’s augustus
it’s the pax romana

seven hills help protect us from invasion
fertile farmland’s in the plains of latium
volcanoes, they sometimes erupt like mount vesuvius
pompeii was sad but their soil’s rich

the italian peninsula’s on mediterranean trade routes
you’ll see that it’s shaped like a boot

my non-citizen soldiers still defend us
every 5 years we count the people with a census

your servants, your slaves, your brothers, your babies
we’re going to take a census so get ready ’cause we’re counting up the numbers
we do it every 5 years, counting up the numbers
so register because we’re counting up the numbers

people are like, “oh, you were adopted by caesar”
i’m like, “careful, you’re talking to an emperor”

caesar was no emperor
he got murdered by senators
at most he was a dictator
with only a dictatorship

he gave land to his soldiers to appease them (dictatorship)
he had to hand free grain to his citizens
yeah he governed gaul
he crossed the rubicon to start a civil war
but i’ve defeated generals

why’d he make citizens of those not born in rome?
maybe he was scared there’d be a plebeian revolt . . . plebeian revolt

(hey caesar, were you reading livy’s books too much?)

i’m “one who commands”
ruling all provinces in my empire
build aquaducts and
say my name’s augustus
it’s the pax romana

i wear a laurel and robe
it’s called a toga though
i build those roman roads
and your taxes pay for those

bad news for you consuls (that’s right!)
who made new laws for rome (come on!)
all those i can veto (he’s got the veto!)
the republic’s days are through

i’m “one who commands”
ruling all provinces in my empire
build aquaducts and
say my name’s augustus
it’s the pax romana

- mr nicky lyrics

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