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mr. spazzer - lost lyrics

[verse]
used to think that love was real i left that thought behind
now i crack a bottle, drink alone, and somehow stay alive
taking risks no longer care i could go broke and i’d be fine
i’m so lost inside this world at speed of sound there goes my time

in my pain i just want rainy days who keep me up at night
those who help me hide my feelings keep the energy outside
sat in toilet on my own i can’t control myself i cry
sometimes wanna ask for help but other times just wanna die
we as men we s’pose to be strong, respond likе ping pong
never show our feelings in society that sh+t’s wrong
wе portrayed as healthy souls who always gotta respond
adversity don’t hurt us they expect us all to be kong

wish i was the watch and i could myself a timeout
held in a submission can’t resist i wanna tap out
breath from all the suffering maybe let one out and scream loud
agony and no direction all i do is hide now

what do i do? i’m stuck in this dilemma
and i’m falling off the boat i’m like a bird losing his feathers
i remember where i started with the freestyle ‘mj better’
now i wonder if my veins still cold i lost control of weather

used to want a grammy now i’m fighting for a f+cking smile
kid who asked for cars before is not the same it’s been a while
still got all the memories i cherished i got all my files
but i’m missing the persona that i grew to from a child

ever since i started dropping people now look at me different
seen me as an artist and then lost me for what i was giving
got me sat confused at home there must be something i be missin’
cause i see the world the same but clearly everybody drifted

need to find somebody who can tell me what has really happened
is it all my fault have they seen change in the way i been acting
is it time for me to come up clutch like early 90s paxson
or is it all over have i lost it gotta start my packing
thoughts in my head, now they uncontrollable
i wish i could go the past and never be so gullible
avoid all the mistakes that came across me all as comfortable
who quickly lost they tone now they turned grey and they not colorful

reflecting helped me learn up to a point where i see fantasies
recalling all that sh+t i did back then but that was really me
i might’ve changed for better now but it’s just something i can’t see
and maybe i’ve become the person i was really s’posed to be

since i stepped foot on this green i didn’t know it would be legend
be a staple in my life a time frame i wouldn’t be forgetting
stories i can share with every bullet that my barrel spreading
friendships that i’ll keep forever no one tell me they’ll be ending

i’ll forever keep this project stamped clean in my heart
something i won’t be repeating my mind gone too far apart
might just find a b+tton that blinks red and says push to restart
there’s light in every day but every day still seems so dark

lost, i’m lost
might keep going but i’ve realized that i’m f+cking lost
maybe in the music game i might not feel so lost
but the person they expect from me is disappeared and lost

now that it’s all ending i have learned that life is not a liar
big sky full of stars with many obstacles and many spirals
i don’t know what’s coming next if i can reach a peak that’s higher
so for now this is my end as mr. spazzer i retire

- mr spazzer lyrics

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