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ms. claire - heaven to me lyrics

[intro]
what is heaven to me?
what is it?

[verse 1]
what is heaven? and f+ck man
what are these cards i’ve been dealt?
bullsh+t is all i can say
“pull it” is what i want to say
to the man aimin’ a gat
at the back of my brain
please take me away
maybe i’ll find a better place
since i already know what h+ll is
i been living in it since my birth
they say life’s a gift, i say that it’s a curse
only find joy in this verse, cause i
got no money in the purse
i’m so bummy and it hurts
people scummy and it hurts
they drug me through the dirt
say they love me then reverse
wonder why me introvert
when every inch of earth
i’ve walked on has been cursed
i’ve got the urge to blurt
some words that would put me in harms way
screaming “f+ck the world”
with my pants around my ankles, like shackles
i bit into the apple like eve
here is the future i see
[verse 2]
my dead name has been carved on my grave
engraved to stay well past my days
so tell me, what is heaven to me?
the way that i see, it’s only a dream
something that cannot be achieved
at the age of 10, i was raped repeatedly
where the f+ck was god when i needed he?
that event’s the root of my problems
so tell me, what is heaven to me?
there’s no heaven for me
i believe there is no god above me
and if there was, then they’re now below me
there can’t be a literal heaven
only a metaphorical one on earth
but to get to that you’ve got to endure the hurt
but even then, you still can be cursed
crash at the end, with nothing to show what you’re worth
only a shallow grave in the dirt
with no escape from the burns
luci said it’s my turn

[outro]
so tell me, what is heaven to me?

- ms claire lyrics

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