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murdock - death lyrics

[verse 1]
it goes tick… tock
the clock spins
i pop doxepins
to calm my mind so i can block sins
it goes tick… tock
another year older
my fear is closer
of making my dream a career is over
it goes tick…tock
no time for seconds
i’ve learned my lessons
every time, the same end is destined
i said tick…tock
life is insanity
we live it in amity
every night i question mine, it is in my mentality
who on earth knows when our time is up
from our birth to our prime till i’m all grown up
till i have my own kid that i can hold up
and look into their eyes as they open up
but i don’t know enough, am i like my father?
he was unprepared. he forgot to bother
his heart was impaired, called me from the doctor
to start again new, yeah that was the offer
will my kid fall into the same old cycle
get depression like i did back in high school
tourettes, ocd, and be suicidal?
can’t put that on them right at their arrival
cause making it to 25 wasn’t a breeze
just a quarter of my life and i got so much to see
and it may bring me right back down to my knees
to put a gun in my mouth, and pull the trigger and squeeze
(pop!)

[verse 2]
might not make it past the age of thirty
love’s on my mind, me and death be flirting
let her into bed with my arms wide open
grips her hands round my neck and then i starts choking
my burial plots already paid for
stood upon my own grave what should i wait for
i can’t get good sleep, that’s what it’s made for
who am i kidding, check in now that’s what i came for
cause every bar i wrote is a final note
to immortalize me if i lose all hope
it’s demoralizing all my ways to cope
are just one step off from a downward slope
but i catch myself every single day
take a breath in the mirror it will be okay
i keep fightin’ and writin’ senses heighten and tighten
zoned in, albums done, and my life is enlightened
and my mind expands
to go and conquer lands
start my own crusade where i can take a stand
and say “i’m not alright!”
but that’s alright…
and that incites
some new insight
i mean you can’t even reach perfection, its a projection that manufactured to just shine in spite
so back i bite, those thoughts i smite
i’m the best i can be and with all my might
i won’t fall into the melancholic
i wanna spread a message but i’m no jan palach
i wanna drop an album that is so symbolic
open up without a drink that is alcoholic
i want to evolve yeah that’s what i’ll call it
but still be me i will not dissolve it
i want i want i want i want i want
i need i need i need i need i need
to breath, to bleed, exceed, and to believe
that what you put out is what you receive
the universe revolves and it conceives
a life in which you can immerse and weave
the ouroborous will not let you leave
whats coming for us you cannot reprieve
so no, i’m not done with my show
i have just begun and i won’t outgrow
this is not for fun, this is to get hope
i am overcome with bars this dope
so stop telling me that it’s not my time
ripped the clock off my wall so i can redefine
living in the moment, not afraid of dying
cause after that’s rebirth and i know i’m fine

- murdock lyrics

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