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mushy mustard - frog dad lyrics

[intro: stir, gerard way]
“frog dad”
it goes like “doo doo doo”
oh, frog dad?
i’m a frog dad

[verse 1: stir]
i’m just hopping around because i’m a frog dad
i spent most of the day chilling on my lily pad
and taking care of my three frog children
joe, fred, buck are their names, and i love them
when we run out of food i go to the frog store
and then we aren’t out because they have more
we play frog board games on the frog weekend
sometimes we stay up late until frog past ten
in the lake around here i’m known as top frog
when i’m hopping here to there i never miss the log
catching flies with my tongue like i’m a ninja
if you aren’t a frog then i can’t hang with ya

[interlude: stir]
(brother of, yes, the infamous joker, you know)
yo, dad, turn that off, i’m rapping
(“why so serious” and all that stuff, uh)
turn off that noise
(actually, i too have been working on my own catchphrase)
this is one take, we can’t do more than one take, turn that down
(uh, sploopety+sploo+)
what happened?
[verse 2: stir]
catching flies with my tongue like i’m a ninja
if you aren’t a frog then i can’t hang with ya
frog dadding isn’t always easy as you thought
like when i’m doing frog crimes and get caught
yeah that’s right i’m a criminal at night
just ’cause i’m a dad doesn’t mean i can’t be tight
i’m down with my homies and that’s never gonna end
want to know when my verse is finished, i’ll tell you when
it’s right now

[chorus 1: b natural, gerard way]
as a frog dad, you might be brown
you might be green, you might be red
the one thing that frog dads have in common is that
they’re frogs, and they’re dads (frog dad)

[verse 3: mustard]
let me tell you about this guy i know, frog dad
he’s got a frog dad bod so other frogs are down bad
he hops around and gets on the floor to get down
when he opens his mouth you will hear a sick sound
a cool croak noise, and it sounds like “ribbit”
this guy’s too cool for a frog exhibit
he should be free and that he is
he made six kids with his frog p+n+s
every morning he hops out of his bed
and thinks about the things his frog children said
how they love him and think he’s a really cool dad
frog dad frog dad he’s the best dad
[chorus 2: b natural, gerard way]
they’re probably male, but really who knows
there’s a lot of different people i mean frogs out there
everyone is different, we’re not the same
and some of us are frog dads (i’m a frog dad)

[verse 4: b natural]
my dad is a frog
my dad is a frog
my dad is a frog
but this isn’t very wrong
why? because i’m also a frog, silly
frogs have frog dads, that’s how the world is really
i mean i assume he’s a frog, i never even met him
oh yeah? weren’t you aware?
frogs weren’t really form a pair
in which to raise their young
i came from a sac of eggs left in a puddle of cum
so i don’t know my frog dad, and my frog mom too
i guess i never thought it until now
never had a frog dad to be my pal
we didn’t throw a ball and catch it with our tongues
that kind of thing just isn’t how our culture’s run
maybe tomorrow i’ll get eaten by a bird
who f+ckin’ knows, the world’s a frog dad t+rd
[bridge: b natural]
frog dad is my dad
frog dad is your dad
frog dad is his dad
frog dad is their dad
what do you know? frog dad knows
what do you say? frog dad does
what do you think frog dad likes
what do you think frog dad is

[verse 5: batter, gerard way]
my dad is dracula and also a frog
he said “hop hop” and then bit a log
my dad’s spit tastes just like lime
i like to freeze and eat it sometimes
if my dad’s a frog, am i a frog too?
i don’t want to be a frog, what do frogs even do?
my dad was a frog, but my mom was a spider
they bonded over eating flies for dinner
me, i prefer a katydid myself
but sadly, we only keep flies on the shelf
my dad is a frog (frog dad)
he lives in a bog (frog dad)
i don’t see him much (frog dad)
every weekend or such (frog dad)
my dad turned into a frog, so my mom divorced him
she only likes princes, so after that of course then
they split up, leaving him alone in the dust
but he only did that after she kissed him once
my dad is a frog, he jumped into some water
a chef started turning the heat up higher and higher
he never jumped out, i don’t know why
guess he took that secret with him when he died
i have a frog dad a frog dad not a crawdad
i wish my dad was anything but a frog dad

[outro: b natural, gerard way]
a frog dad is what you get when you’re a frog
if you’re not a frog, you probably don’t have a frog dad
(frog dad)
because frog sperm typically can’t mix with other eggs
but hey, i don’t know your life, so, go on, the way you’ve been
don’t let me stop the life you’ve had
if you have a frog dad
and you like it that way, that’s okay
i’m not here to get in your way
i already said way, but that’s okay
because this is a song, it’s about frog dad
(oh, frog dad?)
he’s not judgmental, because he’s a frog
what can a frog possibly judge about you
maybe he doesn’t like the way you sing
maybe he doesn’t like the way you hop
maybe he thinks you’re inferior because you have eyelids
but i don’t think so
i think frog dad is not judgmental
i think he can accept everyone the way that i accept him

- mushy mustard lyrics

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