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mushy mustard - the dungeon difference™ lyrics

[intro: whipstick, twilightskyline, dungeon keeper]

[verse 1: mustard]
here’s an introduction, welcome to the dungeon
before you stay you should that this place has one function
to make sure that you have the most bad time possible
if you could wipe that smile off your face it’d be optimal

the temperature is cold, with ice dripping from your nose
that’s the dungeon difference™, we’ll always keep this promise

you see that to consume
any part of you that they see fit for consumption
that’s what you’ll get if you’re visiting the dungeon
don’t kick back or relax, because you’ll probably die here
the minimum time of a stay is like a year
so get ready for a super duper unpleasant experience
we’ll treat you poorly, that’s the dungeon difference
[chorus: whipstick & mustard, hektik, golden jelly]

[verse 2: b natural]
the dungeon difference is our slogan
it describes how our hotel’s run
here at our hotel you stay
in a dungeon, that’s our “thang”
a dungeon is not supposed to be accommodating
the way that we fulfill that is
a guy is in the bed near you
in normal hotels you get a bed, that’s true
but in our dungeon the guy is there
and with him you’ll feel all the air
because he takes your blanket away
you’ll have no blanket ’cause you’re g+y
he keeps the blanket in his b+tt
you will be here ’til you rot
that’s how we deliver the dungeon difference to you
we guarantee you’ll want to shoo
this big b+tt g+y guy away
but you can’t, enjoy your stay
dungeon dungeon dungeon dun
dungeon dungeon dungeon dun dun dun
[interlude: mustard, b natural]
why is he g+y?
i don’t know
that’s, like, offensive
i needed another syllable
no you didn’t!
you don’t have the right amount of syllables anyway!

[chorus: whipstick & mustard, hektik, golden jelly]

[verse 3: batter]
i know you’ve probably seen a dungeon or three
but the difference in this dungeon is it’s all about me
i have three other friends that help run this dungeon too
but they aren’t the reason why you came here did you
i’ve got birds that fly and no view of the stars
i’ve got weird old men that stick their hands through the bars
i’ve got stairs that appear and disappear
i’ve got all of your dungeon needs right here
i’ve got slopes to slide down quick as a wink
i’ve got blood on our hands, but no need for a sink
i like it messy here and i like the rotten stink

it’s the greatest dungeon because i work here
i’m the best dungeon runner this side of the west
if you don’t like it let me make something clear
no one cares just what you’ve professed
[chorus: whipstick & mustard, hektik, golden jelly]

[verse 4: stir]
hey, are you looking for a dungeon?
i got one you can use if you pay me something
you can lie on the stones and stay the night
you can stay longer if you’d like
i don’t go down there too often
the rats i got there do fine without me
you wanted a dungeon to crash in?
what do you say? make yourself at home
maybe you’re not used to living below ground
dungeons aren’t as warm as a lot of houses are
because of the stones and a bit of the steel
but you can stay here days in a row, flat price, it’s a steal
a cell just for you, i won’t be a bother
if you outgrow that one let me give you another
it’s safe in there, strong walls, no need to be tense
you could spend you whole life undisturbed, that’s the dungeon difference

[chorus: whipstick & mustard, hektik, golden jelly]

[outro: dungeon keeper, whipstick & mustard, twilightskyline]

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- mushy mustard lyrics

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