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my brother: the ocean - letters to my family (2017 demo) lyrics

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i wrote these letters that i never sent out
locked in my head and stamped with my doubt

to this day i’m still terrified of everything
how would it change if i had given up on everything

a father rushes in to clean up the mess
the ocean of blood left above my brother’s bed
over half my life i’ve gone through these swings
believing that there’s nothing left me
lying awakе at night weighed down by thoughts
trying to fight back, but i nevеr felt like i was strong
i don’t think that you can understand
i’ve seen you try but i can’t expect that you would understand

i still can’t get any sleep
when the greener fields are consumed by the sheep i’m counting

i gave you this river so you’ll never die
i gave you this river. give her new life
how long til the flood ends, i’ll try to carry on
is there life after pain

i’ve played out the service countless times
a sea of darkened clothes and watered eyes
a fist full of dirt and brow drenched in sweat
i hear your screams, you weren’t ready yet
a priest with good intentions says i’m in a better place
but i was never alone there was never a better place

i will carry on
block out the pain and carry on
i see the sun
i will carry on
block out the pain and carry on
it can’t be dark for long

- my brother the ocean lyrics

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