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my fictions - same grave lyrics

i don’t know what to blame for why i shy away so much
but i’m taking steps forward towards facing all of my faults
take my ego hostage; sign the ransom note as the holy ghost
and bring my agnostic eyes to the pit of my chest,
the sightline of my stomach because i can’t digest a single thing about this place
and when i die i won’t know anything and it won’t mean a f-cking thing
it’s going to come down soon, i’ve been running scared i don’t feel prepared
oh my sweet serene, don’t i love how you’ve been watching me?
i take the good with the bad, i guess, at least someone’s watching,
i validate my existence through self loathing
and when i look at my life, it’s a procession through fluorescent lights
a synthetic sun i keep shying myself away from
and when i think of all the people i’ve wronged i just want to be left alone
but i’m forever stuck here to reflect
you know i hate how i get but this distance is developing
and i can’t lie in the same grave for a week at a time in my ever-changing mind
this destiny draws into a black hole and i’m circling the drain as i wait for the end
now i know why i’m afraid to die, i’m just so sick of crossing lines
and i feel as if i f-cking hate myself
as if i can’t relate to anyone outside my self
to anything at all, so sick of building walls
like i scared my self out of it
because whenever i leave the house i just want to go back inside
and i guess that’s why i can’t believe the myth that we are always moving forward

- my fictions lyrics

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