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my ruin - horrible pain (within my heart) lyrics

i invoke him, and he comes to me, in my dreams
dressed in black
he speaks in a language only i can understand
his hands are warm, his breath is hot
he is the horrible pain, within my heart
my religion, my sanctuary, my church, my sacrafice, my confession
my exorcism, my worship, in progress
i have no other lover… now, untill forever
he is magic, and when he kisses me, i can taste him on my lips
like an elixir
far from innocent
he is pure evil
a sinners prayer, a saints desire
for him, i would walk through fire
for him… i have walked through fire

to draw him, i want so bad
one gift, i’ll never have
he drives a stake into my soul
makes me bleed, makes me whole
drinks me, devours me, intoxicates me
with his love, hate, devotion, faith
as beautiful as jesus christ
he is as brutal, as the depths of h-ll
in my dreams, i press my mouth against his
and i feel heaven… horror… terror
he looks at me with that look
i call it his serial killer look
like he wants to f-ck me, and kill me all at the same time
it scares me
it turns me on
his eyes are brown
his stare is intense… meaningful, powerful
maybe that’s why he’s so f-ckin’ scary
because he means it
sometimes he tells me he loves me, as he looks at me
with that look
sometimes he doesn’t have to
i’ve never felt a man look at me like this
it’s almost creepy…
uncomfortable…
s-xy
i guess i know he could never really chop off my hands

…

or could he?

- my ruin lyrics

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