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n.o.s.y.m. - suicidal thoughts lyrics

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(intro)

(to everybody)
can y’all hear me?
(who feels suicidal please do not, do not do it)
i don’t wanna… take my own life
(don’t, don’t listen to this song and take after this song, that’s not what it’s for)
if something was to happen
(it’s where my mind was at one point)
and it just happened
(just know there’s a better life for us out here)

(verse 1)

if i died, there wouldn’t be no one to care
they’ll read it as another status just put in the air
but unaware that i’m just really tired of bein here
cause stuff they say i’m cryin’ bout be feelin’ so unfairly

feelin’ sick, dizzy carin’ got me feelin’ weary
always tryna explain, got my eyes teary
frown on a hunnid don’t n-body come near me
i fight when i’m shook and your soul lookin’ scary
these hoes want the money, i don’t plan on bein’ married
i don’t wanna talk cause wheni preach they never her me
tell me that i’m buggin’ off of multiple conspiracies
but when i go to k!ll myself, they screamin’ that they there for me
they only there when i can get some skin or a ligament
i’m the one on crutches yet they actin’ like i did ’em in
come to me with issues but no tissue for the ish i’m in
eff it me and death’ll split a life and always kick it then
in my room, door locked, fakes tryna kick it in
come with these excuses bout me dyin’ only k!llin’ ’em
i don’t give a f – c k think again
i just want some happy for myself, i gotta help the man
i done been through self wars, parents just don’t understand
tryna get a smith’n and it’s quick i leave my will in hand
any money that i got, just split it up between my fam
nah, keep it in the bank, when i come back i need to see it again
endless cycle of die and rebirth i wanna step out
hotel of h-ll, i been burnin’ at the check out
blunts cloud the mood, man i need to get the h-ll out
feelin’ down so much, you think that me and heaven fell out
stuck on mary jane, but cocaine know all my whereabouts
don’t know how much to take, i’ll do it all just to air
go to sleep and never wake up, soul clear out
i ain’t speakin’ nothin’ just my feelings up in here now
cause this how i been thinkin’
don’t n-body know my hurt
they don’t know my mindset
don’t n-body know my worth
and i don’t know it either
tryna find it man it ain’t gon work
so i be doin’ 9 to 5’s
til i’m slumped inside the church
and nah i ain’t goin goth, but i’m cruisin on emo
my left brain a cancer, i’m too well for chemo
right brain a virgo
soft as r & b though
until i’m feelin’ crossed and i’ma ortiz to the t-to
and i might jack son he look or speak the wrong way
i used to be quiet now i’m spazzin’ broad day
my att-tude on five thou please get out my face
cause i won’t hesitate to take our lives in the same place
n-gg- i been thinkin’ torture
five way extortion
saw traps after saw traps, leavin’ courses
eliminate every ignorant unknown forces
and nossworld, noss –
(the only one on white horses)
by the time i’m 21 i’m tryna see the forbes list
five benz trucks, nah three and two porsches
and that’s if, i can stay sane and not nauseous
to the point where i can hear the gravestone callin’
tired of bein used, tired of feelin’ unwanted
tired of bein told how to react to the nonsense
this is what they prayed for, this is what they wanted
ain’t no drugs in me, straight oxygen, i’m off it
n-gg-

(outro)

(yo i know yah)
yo, this n-gg- on his way, he on his way, he on his way
(i know yah hear him comin’ bro)
yo, bruh don’t open the door stupid, don’t open the… door
(bruh who is you textin’ at this time bruh, call the cops)
(bruh you focusin’ on the wrong things right now)
yo who is…
-bones crack-
like i said…
eliminate all ignorant unknown forces
k!llin’ everybody
5 7
-footsteps-
(here’s nozzi! ha ha ha ha ha)
-gunshot-



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