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nada surf - mathilda lyrics

[intro]
they used to call me mathilda
my mama kept my hair long
i was more pretty than handsome
and i was not very strong
my voice was kinda high
not a typical guy
they used to call me mathilda
i was never sure why
i felt bad about it
but i didn’t get mad
i got sad about it
but i was all that i had

[instrumental break]

[verse 1]
where’s this order coming from?
do you hear it like a drum
from back in time?
do you feel like who you are?
are you driven from afar?
along for the ride
there’s a manner in your town
there’s no way to turn it ’round
why even try?

[refrain]
just kids, we have our tests
look at your nails, is your palm out?
if you hold your hands
unlike a man, it’s not allowed
we start out young
it’s too much fun to laugh out loud
we think we’re free
but we don’t see, our heads are bowed
our heads are bowed

[verse 2]
i read somewhere that women will
worry most ’bout being k!lled
when with a new guy
men on dates fear ridicule
it’s the sting they knew at school
and it still applies

[refrain]
sometimes nothing is better
than anything made of words and letters
and looks and gestures, blank is clean
blank is a peaceful, empty scene
in your private self
you make some room and have some sp-ce
you wake your loves up one by one
and make them safe
and make them safe

[verse 3]
who knows how many in a group
feel the odd one out
who the joke’s about?
that feeling, that loneliness
hangs over like a curse
over like a thirst
where’s this order coming from?
do you hear it like a drum
from back in time?

[outro]
though it’s all around, i still wonder
why we can’t move on, and we still bear arms
and we still make fun out of anyone
picture a worksite bar of clockout drinking
and then go inside, do you feel that vibe?
something makes me think someone wants to fight
there’s a drive to quell what we hate in ourselves
if it’s in the bible, then you know it’s old
and if it’s in nature, then it’s been foretold
that a slice of our numbers will feel this way
it’s not somethin’ we discuss between guys who are straight
and then i looked up, “was fred phelps g-y?”
but i found no answer, so then who’s to say?
but only self-hatred could explain his rage
there’s a special h-ll that we build for ourselves
and it’s handed down in homes and playgrounds

- nada surf lyrics

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