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nalyd - november 19th lyrics

[verse 1]
woke up six a.m. on the ninteenth of november
staunton river high school the one beside the river
showered, checked my phone then got dressed can’t remember
walked out of the house just like any other
little did i know i almost died next to my mother
keep the story on track, got on the bus
walked to the back
smiled at my girl
today she’s distant, amanda what is wrong
amanda what you p-ssed at
she says “dylan in-between cl-ss you’re always gone
it’s like all you care about is sammy and desean
i should be your number one
priority
cause let’s be honest the majority of your friends are because of me
yeah it’s hard to believe i used to date misses popularity
oddly enough she asked me out
take that for some clarity
guarantee i never get a second chance with her again
“d-mn babe, i’m sorry for being a bad boyfriend. i know this sounds late but amanda i still love ya
it took a long time to discover”
but that day november 19th
i stepped into the bus and seen amanda cry
her and tiffani yelling at me screaming why
i reply amanda don’t cry
i don’t intend to ignore you
but the more i say that tiffani’s screams at me intensify
i’m so sorry now i stand in the aisle with the feeling of imaginary thousand knifes in my chest and thighs
it’s like the more she cries the more the pain multiples
then she says: “dylan were through, dylan were done”
“you’re n0body without me, n0body hun”
i crumble like the first day of a sun
i’m slumped felt like a dump in my seat
at the front
everybody laughs, even amanda joins
these fake friends through me in the ocean without a f-cking raft
i feel hard then i finally crashed
the bus stops at my stop
i run through the rain so fast as i dash
so fast
i remember hiding tear drops in the rain
walking away from the bus stop covered in pain
eyes blurry it felt like my hear stopped
on to the next one for her, my act’s mopped
my friends were all fake flops
so i get at the hardtop of the driveway and hear the sound of smashing gl-ss coming my way
what the f-ck is that
what the f-ck is that

[verse 2]
oh it’s just mom and steve
they arguin’ again nothing new to see
i walked around contemplating what had just occurred
maybe if she’d understand she wouldn’t kick me to the curb
but why would she
why would anyone else
i just found out i had no real friends
not a chance, they only thought i was cool cus i was inside amanda’s pants
in the distance
my mom cries out, i rushed to the front door asking what’s about
my mom says dyl be quiet
behind that door was a madman holding a revolver to my eyelids
the world stood still
everything was quiet in sighs
in a split second my life flashed before my eyes
what do i do
i’m too weak to fight it, i can’t risk dying, ain’t nowhere to hide an
i stared right in the eyes of death
looked in the barrel
i’m lucky to be here; postcard from h-ll

[verse 3]
he calls me a f-ggot
i want to fire back at but what can i do
i make one false move then i’m doomed
he walks me to my room
i think what should i do
living in the mountains n0body has a clue
n0body is home, call 911?
nah amanda blew up my phone
it’s dead and maybe soon i will be too
the last thing i want is a gunshot to the head wound
i’m laying in the beat
i try to separate but the pain inside accelerates
my mind delays to collaborate, all this hate inside reactivates
don’t know why my mom came back to this cycle
you’d think a god above wouldn’t have took us back through this cycle
i just need a shred of hope
i just need an advocate
but all i got is useless hate
i wanna scream but i can’t if i wanna stay in a human state
my heart is pumpin’ at a cougar’s pace
i sneak around the movie case
i crawl behind the sofa couch
i find my way under the kitchen table
grab the house phone out the charga’
the task gets harda’
i shut the door behind me, gently now
i run outside called 911
officer ever so stealth
trace this call i need f-ckin’ help
trace this call i need f-ckin’ help
november 19th the worst of my life
november 19th the day that i died

- nalyd lyrics

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