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nathan r. allen - conflict of languages lyrics

[verse 1]
if this was the last day you saw me, would you treat me much different?
would your heart be reminded by the scar of my thumb’s imprint?
what if you didn’t see me today and i suddenly stopped reaching your way?
would your pattern of life be rattled and twined
or would you keep on your way without tweaking your face?
you just seem so complacent
like you’d remain unfazed if i ever one day just
up and left without saying, tell me that ain’t it
you must get your kicks from elsewhere
there’s gotta be another guy with swagger and some gelled hair
that tells you that you smell fair
if not, then how do you exist?
this mood is one of the rudiments that empower you to live
you’re down exuberance and it communicates a cruel sense
of aloofness, i can’t keep doing this, how do you do it?
it wasn’t like this before; you liked kissing more
now i kiss the floor as you stride in the door
you’re the love of my life: you can’t have enough of my time
yet you speak in terms of buffers, at times you need months to recline
in all my life, i never imagined us getting this disjointed
when i ask to see you, it’s like “sure, just schedule an appointment”
you thanked me for being here, but you said it through a text message
do you appreciate my presence, or are you thankful that we’ve been separate?
you’re my highest friend, the time we spend is like the best chinese zen
but all i get these days are these tiny texts that say “hi… we set?”
our meetings are like business
the fact i just used the word “meetings” to describe visits
gives me a light sickness but it seems the right ascription
because there’s no life in them
i pushed too hard on my side of the scale
people like us writing our fables don’t wait for another insight to the tale
so we romantically abandon our ships, get stranded inside of a whale
then we cry when time p-sses and we’re left with no sight of an angel
but you’re a protagonist too
you need to have the plans to map the path of your shoes
so if those shoes don’t do the same dance that i do
looks like i’ll practice new moves, cause this is our fantasy book

[verse 2]
please have patience, my emotions are infantile
i haven’t seen you in a while, so they think we’re being rivaled
i have confidence it’s not correct, but tell it to my throbbing chest
put your face against my rib cage, profess until that want is dead
actually, hold on a sec, you and i both know that’s not the best
way to handle this chaotic mess, this is love, it’s not politics
don’t force yourself on me, i don’t want it if it’s not honest
but please understand, i just spent so long wanting this
spent my life trying to be -ssociated, finding someone who could go adjacent
but i was always met with no relation, no one ever came close to nathan
then suddenly you showed one day and i mustered up some hope and placed it
on you, don’t wrongly take it but i hoped and prayed it wouldn’t go to waste and
every meeting i left so elated, that summer i still hold the greatest
and when the fall came around, i denied that it was slowly fading
i see ghosts and daymares where i hold your face here
no, no, no, you can’t go, you’re the one soul i know will stay here
stay here, but who am i talking to?
cause when i shake this awful snooze, you haven’t left your father’s roof
but i’m still hollow, lost, confused, wanting what called me “suave and cool”
honest truth, i guess i want back what i thought was you
i want the you that enjoyed extensive embraces
the you who’d always meet me with the most pleasant of faces
you’d get excited for visits, go for drives in my civic
i want my best mate who would entertain stopping time for a minute
is it hiding within? if so, why then is it?
i’m hintless; i’d hope you would tell me if i made you this stiff
it’s kinda ridic’lous how this fickle emotional pain
originates from the ways we say love aren’t spoken the same
but i have hope for our fate, we can communicate
we were two earnest souls, groping for an open-eared mate
those were your statements, i know, weren’t they?
so you can’t go on that note, don’t leave this way!

[verse 3]
possibly you’ve forgotten me or i just want to be worshipped
it’s got me discouraged, ’cause all i’m ever taught to learn is
regardless of the work in, it eventually burns dim
i’m a hero for 4 months before returning to a normal person
i don’t wanna hear another word about the guy you broke up with
if you miss him, don’t tell me, cause i will throw up sick
let’s go to a place where there’s no other guys to throw judgments
and while we’re on the whole subject, that reminds me of this time when
you were standing in the doorway, a guy on either side
holding a bubble tea and a t-shirt so we couldn’t even side
hug before we said bye, are we trying to make my feelings cry?
can’t you see i’m in dire need of a sign? jeez, fine, i’m peacing, bye!
i don’t know if i’ve ever shared a mutual feeling
i don’t know if i’ve ever been a part of two human beings
but if my world was broken, you glued the pieces
if this moves you, come through, prove you still mean it

- nathan r allen lyrics

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