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nathan r. allen - when that smile cracked lyrics

[verse 1]
when that smile cracked
you’d have thought it was the clouds
how it proved the existence of the sun i doubted
and raised my gaze from the ground
i was seen and that excited me
we held our words until our eyes could meet
and attended to that smile’s sound
you didn’t show your t–th
until you showed me poetry of all your angst
and token childhood woes, you spoke to me
related openly your perspectives
i tried to hold my peace as the sewn knit
holding your lips together broke
when that smile cracked
i swear it went like the veil
we drank brewed mugs the way you were made to:
wearing our internalized stigmas, you were a quiet kid
you wouldn’t fight for the slide, more inclined to swing
likewise had a childish life defined by ticks
even if yours were a tiny bit more literal
your p-ssions lodged down under in private cupboards
compromised contention for comfort
but your conscience was too stubborn to hide the facts
maybe it was mostly manners but we shared much laughter
and in my journal i wrote a chapter of that time a while back
when that smile cracked

[outro]
can you hear me crying through your memories?
i am spent
you don’t know the comfort you were
the meaning of your words
your presence and sincerity
you don’t know

[deleted second verse]
no sooner had you cracked, you split
i tapped into you in a time of transition
months from being a graduate
i guess i had the hint you had an itch
to be somewhere birth hadn’t trapped you in
and it’s not like i don’t have your digits but i never had confidence
to say i had your friendship so now i just have
to see your first and last name written when i’m flipping through my address book
and in my mind i go back to that first welcoming eye contact
in that instant i felt that grin was a reaction to my whole past
and if this contact is the thing that chips that crevice in your cheek
cast your stare across this table and may nothing come between
because when that smile cracked
you’d have sworn it was a new dawn

- nathan r allen lyrics

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