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navid jamshidi - suicide is not for the weak lyrics

it’s been rough… so rough…)
yo, this is my story, hear my pain
feel the weight, it’s driving me insane
it’s been a rough ride, the scars are deep
i’m fighting these thoughts that never sleep
i’m telling you everything, breaking me down
feels like i’m sinking, about to drown
oh, father, i wonder why
i still call you “padre,” no alibi
life never gave me the chance to choose
you came in first, but i always lose
i still smell the drugs that you used at night
still hear the screams from the endless fights
poor mother cried, gave all her soul
while you sat back, let her take control
pain runs deep, and the wounds don’t heal
this life’s a curse, and it’s all too real
i’m trapped in the void, but i can’t let go
holding on, though it’s breaking my soul
i see how she can’t call you a man
you left her alone, she took your stand
i don’t recall you lifting a hand
but you broke our backs, do you understand?
you know my brother? yeah, my blood, my kin
he died in my hands—where you been?
misery k!lled him, it tore him apart
another shadow carved in my heart
now i’m not the one to place the blame
but i still carry all the shame
i’m out here grinding, my momma’s old
this heavy burden’s turning cold
pain runs deep, and the wounds don’t heal
this life’s a curse, and it’s all too real
i’m trapped in the void, but i can’t let go
holding on, though it’s breaking my soul
oh, let me think, where did it begin?
the friends i lost, the life i’m in
i can’t let go, it’s hard to breathe
the darkness calls, but i won’t leave
what will poor mother do without me?
and the girl i love, will she break, you see?
these thoughts hold tight, they keep me alive
though every day, it’s a struggle to survive
but it still hurts, this life ain’t kind
it’s a void that’s tearing up my mind
it hurts to see her break and cry
over a man who just wants to die
i love you, dear, more than myself
more than the pain i’ve ever felt
if i could leave, i’d let you go
but i know you’re tied to my soul, i know
i see your love, it’s holding me here
even while i drown in fear
i know it’d break your heart in two
to find my body, cold and through
yo…
i fight, i try, but it’s hard to stay
this pain just grows every single day
i know you’d cry, so i’m holding on
but it feels like my soul’s already gone

- navid jamshidi lyrics

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