ned - bubba the love sponge - monkey bars lyrics
[intro]
i can m-st-rb-t- on the monkey bars
on the monkey bars, on the monkey bars
i can m-st-rb-t- on the monkey bars
on the monkey bars, on the monkey bars
[verse one]
look at me, look at me
smoking here cause it’s good to be
so high, and i’m a stoner/slacker
i sit in the stair so stupid-ly
i can show you how to smoke a bowl
i touched my b-lls and boris becker
i can take a sh-t down a gofer hole
i got more twist than chubby checker
i can jack my d-ck at dairy queen
i can shave the back of a hairy queen
i can make out with a g-y chuck norris
and i can slap a b-tch cause i’m very mean
me and my friend raped a pair of wops
me and my friend dated carrot top
my siamese twin has to share a cuck
paul mccartney’s wife can spare a sock
[hook one]
cause i can play led zeppelin on a xylophone
on a xylophone, on a xylophone
and i can sh-t my pants in a nursing home
in a nursing home, in a nursing home
[verse two]
look at me, look at me
just called to say it’s so good to be
so high, i’m so d-mn wasted
braindead like a lobotomy
i can make and it’ll make a chick sore
i can have s-x with a tangerine
i buy used condoms at the thrift store
i can hunt a deer from a limousine
i can show you that i’m psychotic
i can put my thighs in very erotic positions
i clone sheep in my kitchen
i slept with my dad now i’m neurotic
i can read palms
i can tell the future
i’m the only guy who punk’d ashton kutcher
show me your t-tties and i will twist ‘em
i can fist you with no resistance!
[hook two]
cause i can cure cancer with an ice-cream cone
with an ice-cream cone, with an ice-cream cone
and i can shoot marbles with my kidney stones
with my kidney stones, with my kidney stones
{-musical trumpet interlude-}
what the h-ll?
i didn’t order a godd-mn trumpet solo!
sounds like he’s playing the trumpet with his -ssh0l-
hey louis armstrong, wrap it the f-ck up!
ooh let’s kick it in!
[verse three]
i can k!ll young boys and fry ‘em up, in my walk
and i can pinch your neck and make you faint, like i’m spock
i’ll teach you yoga, we’ll drink the coor[?], i’ll wear a toga on yom kippur
i can k!ll you with violent m-st-rbation
you cannot stop your fascination[?]
i can be a godd-mn youtube sensation
all i need is lube and three day nations
i can make you do long division
just because i don’t like ya
and can make fun of your religion
just cause i wanna spite ya
[hook three]
and i can kick your -ss in a chicken fight
in a chicken fight, in a chicken fight
and i can solve all problems with a pound of dope
with a pound of dope, with a pound of dope
and i can meet the pope and get my salad tossed
get my salad tossed, get my salad tossed
get my salad tossed, get my salad tossssssssssssssssssed!
[intro]
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