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nerf herder - stock photo girl lyrics

(uh, okay, this one’s gonna be a winner. hahaha)

i was lonely and i was sad
sitting in my boxer shorts like somebody’s dad
i saw your picture in the paper, it caught my eye
it said to call right now you’d be standing by
said you were standing by

you’ve got a desk, and you’ve got a phone
your smile makes me feel good when i’m alone (oh)
you’ve got beautiful eyes, beautiful hair
your computer monitor’s big and square
(they should really buy you a new monitor)

stock photo girl
i believe what you told me
stock photo girl
i bought the stuff that you sold me
stock photo girl
i only want you to hold me
but you only, yeah you only
you only put mе on hold

(h+llo, h+llo? is anyone thеre?)
oh i’ll buy the vitamins, i’ll buy the creams
anything to follow my dream
there’s a guy in a lab coat holding a chart
if he’s your boyfriend that would break my heart

stock photo girl
i believe what you told me
stock photo girl
i bought the stuff that you sold me
stock photo girl
i only want you to hold me
but you only, yeah you only
you only put me on hold
i’m stuck on hold
yeah, you put me on hold
somebody get me off hold
i’m on hold
i’m still on hold
oh no, oh no
somebody pick up the phone
no

[spoken]
oh, it’s ringing
h+llo?
hi, yeah, i would like to place an order with you guys
a very large order
but there’s a particular operator i’d like to talk to
i don’t know her, can’t remember her name
but she looks uh, she’s got uh, beautiful wavy hair and uh alabaster skin
do you know who i’m talking about?
oh, no one like that there?
i better talk to your manager
hi, yeah, i would like to order from this uh, this lady here in this ad
oh, she’s not there right now? huh
well uh
well if i place an order will she get back to me?
ok
do you have a pill that would make my p+n+s smaller?
[sung]
stock photo girl
i believe what you told me
stock photo girl
i bought the stuff that you sold me
stock photo girl
i only want you to hold me
but you never hold me
you never hold me
no you, never, never, never
stock photo girl
you’ve got my credit card
you’ve got me transferring the balance to another card
stock photo girl
i’ve got 24 cases of hemorrhoid cream
stock photo girl (oh!)
i only want you to hold me
but you only, yeah you only
you only put me on hold

[spoken]
hi yeah, i’d like to
i’d like to lodge a complaint
uh, this hemorrhoid cream tastes terrible
and these man diapers are uh, are really too tight
i ordered extra large
the uh p+n+s shrinking pill has worked great however
no refunds huh…
yeah…
backing away from the microphone

- nerf herder lyrics

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