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nf - mansion lyrics

[chorus: fleurie]
insidious is blind inception
what’s reality with all these questions?
feels like i missed my alarm and slept in
slept in
broken legs, but i chase perfection
these walls are my blank expression
my mind is a home i’m trapped in
and it’s lonely inside this mansion

[verse 1: nf]
yo, my mind is a house with walls, covered in lyrics
they’re all over the place, there’s songs in the mirrors
written all over the floors, all over the chairs
and you get the uncut version of life when i go downstairs
that’s where i write when i’m in a bad place and need to release
and let out the version of nf you don’t wanna see
i put holes in the walls with both of my fists till they bleed
you might get a glimpse of how i cope with all this anger in me
physically abused, now that’s the room that i don’t wanna be in
that picture ain’t blurry at all, i just don’t wanna see it
and these walls ain’t blank, i just think i don’t wanna see ’em
but why not? i’m in here, so i might as well read ’em
i gotta thank you for this anger that i carry around
wish i could take a match and burn this whole room to the ground
matter of fact, i think i’ma burn this room right now
somehow, this memory, for some reason, just won’t burn down
you used to put me in the corner, so you could see the fear in my eyes
then took me downstairs and beat me till i screamed and i cried
congratulations, you’ll always have a room in my mind
but i’ma keep the door shut and lock the lyrics inside

[chorus: fleurie]
insidious is blind inception
what’s reality with all these questions?
feels like i missed my alarm and slept in
and slept in
broken legs, but i chase perfection
these walls are my blank expression
my mind is a home i’m trapped in
and it’s lonely inside this mansion, inside this mansion

[verse 2: nf]
yo, my mind is a house with walls, covered in pain
see, my problem is, i don’t fix things, i just try to repaint
cover ’em up, like it never happened, say, “i wish i could change”
are you confused? come upstairs and i’ll show you what i mean
this room’s full of regrets, it just keeps getting fuller, it seems
the moment i walk into it’s the same moment that i wanna leave
i get sick to my stomach every time i look at these things
but it’s hard to look past when this is the room where i sleep
i look around, one of the worst things i wrote on these walls
was the moment i realized that i was losing my mom
one of the first things i wrote was, “i wish i woulda called”
but i should just stop now, we ain’t got enough room in this song
and i regret the fact that i struggled trying to find who i am
and i lie to myself and say i do the best that i can
shrug it off like it ain’t nothing, like it’s out of my hands
then get ticked off whenever i see it affecting my plans
and i regret watchin’ these trust issues eat me alive
and at the rate i’m goin’, they’ll probably still be there when i die
congratulations, you’ll always have a room in my mind
the question is, will i ever clean the walls off in time?

[verse 3: nf]
so this part of my house, no one’s been in it for years
i built a safe room and i don’t let no one in there
’cause if i do, there’s a chance that they might disappear
and not come back, and i admit, i am emotionally scared
to let anyone inside, so i just leave my doors locked
you might get other doors to open up, but this door’s not
’cause i don’t want you to have the opportunity to hurt me
and i’ll be the only person that i can blame when you desert me
i’m barricaded inside, so stop watchin’
i’m not coming to the door, so stop knockin’, stop knockin’
i’m trapped here, god keeps saying i’m not locked in
i chose this, i am lost in my own conscience
i know that shuttin’ the world out ain’t solvin’ the problem
but i didn’t build this house because i thought it would solve ’em
i built it because i thought that it was safer in there
but it’s not, i’m not the only thing that’s livin’ in here
fear came to my house years ago, i let him in
maybe that’s the problem, ’cause i’ve been dealing with this ever since
i thought that he would leave, but it’s obvious, he never did
he must have picked a room and got comfortable and settled in
now i’m in a position, it’s either sit here and let ’em win
or put him back outside where he came from, but i never can
’cause in order to do that, i’d have to open the doors
is that me or the fear talking? i don’t know anymore

[outro: nf & fleurie]
it’s lonely
inside (inside), inside (inside)
it’s lonely (it’s lonely)
oh, yeah, it’s lonely
inside this mansion

- nf lyrics

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