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ngajuana - back up here lyrics

rainclouuuuds, following meee, trying to break dooowwwn, all that i be
any daay noooow and you’re all gonna see, how these rainclouuuuds are swallowing me

how did i get here and why did i come? why did i throw my whole life away, young?
who is i really and where is i from? so much on my chest, it feels like a ton
just trying to get better, so i can be better, can you relate? this is why i don’t sleep ever
why i don’t eat ever, why i party never and my connection to society’s severed
but i can’t leave this place, no, can’t take the easy way
i, can’t get away but i, don’t, really don’t need to stay, no
why can’t i break the chains? why, am i stuck in the rain?
how, can i escape the pain? i, need to go stake my claim
but, i end up right back in the same situation, i’m hating, i’m snappin, i’m losing my patience
i’m walking in circles, like inmates, i’m pacing, not shook, but i’m shaking, not broken, not breakin’
but borderline broke and i’m bored of just waiting and sick of not knowing which move to be makin’
while dudes that be faking, just use it to cake and abuse what has made me a dude that could maybe
improve and be saving, the life of another, a daughter, a sister, a wife or a mother
a brother, a son, or a husband, or father, i keep coming back to what’s keeping me bothered
i can’t help but dwell on it, this is my cell and the walls keep on closing in on me, i’m telling you
nothing and no-one can help me, it’s h-ll that i’m held in; i’m melting, there’s no way its healthy cuz…

every time i leave i come right
back, back, back, back, back, back, back up here
i can’t get away, i just come
back, back, back, back, back, back, back up here
i never thought i’d ever see this place again, place again
the last time that i walked out of the door, door
but as you see i’ve made the same mistake again, mistake again
and when it rains, it really f-ckin pours

rainclouuuuds, following meee, trying to break dooowwwn, all that i be;
any daay noooow and you’re all gonna see, how these rainclouuuuds are swallowing me

whole, they’re swallowing me, whole; they’re all i can see, oh
they’re swallowing me, soul, seen all of this be-fore
got no-where to go, nothing to lose; it’s rock, rock bottom, yo
and all, all, all i knows i got, got, gotta go
and nothing i’ve done, has ever been right, i sleep through day and i write through the night
i fight and i fight, hating the dark, just trying to see if it’s nice in the light
my sights on a life, i never thought possible, up til the day i said, “failure is optional”
wouldn’t you rather be able to say that you won when success took a shot at you? uh
i never quite get that far, rain, rain, go away
but even if it does, that prolly means that it’ll snow today
i keep on the grind; i keep trying to find, the words that will finally see me defined
for so much of my life, i’ve seemed to be blind, but now that i see it, i’m seeing me fine
i used to see nothing when looking at me, but it seems when i look now i see a design
i’m sharp as i’ve ever been and getting sharper and willing to bet i don’t see a decline
i’m leaving, i’m leaving and i’m never coming back, ain’t that sure?
i mean it, i mean it, man, i got the hunger back, famous last words

- ngajuana lyrics

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