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ngajuana - yard work lyrics

no one’s betting on me, -it’s f-ck me
i got few friends, in real life, let alone the in-dus-try
so it stays how it’s been and it’s been- just-he
justly, always figured things were how they must be
i was born alone and i’ll die alone
and wasn’t anyone there, when trouble piled on
my soul’s tires are bald, so many miles on
because it never was i that luck smiled on
so f-ck smiling, gimme some drums and a violin
lemme take you on a trip, pile in
i lived a messed up life, prolly like some of y’all
done too much, but still p-ssed i ain’t done it all
and i ain’t done at all, but i been feeling like an old man
lately, things are better when i’m uninvolved
i got some issues and they’re definitely unresolved
in fact, come to think of it, can’t think of one i solved
there’s something wrong with me, what’s going on with me?
i’m going off again, so come along with me
something’s haunting me; i dunno what it is
it asked me; what is living? i said i haven’t lived
i threw my life away, the best parts of it
or i could look at it like; i’ve just started it
they used to tell me i was smart as sh-t
never really saw it, til i looked at my life and saw the art in it
they told me have a heart; but living hardened it
so now it’s me against me, but who started it?
and who’ll finish it? i’ve been colder than the winter is
sinner and a cynic, spit like cinders is
cinderblock talk, every word is heavy
i flow like river, after river murders levee
so the cops at my flat, now, weaponry words
they aiming at me, screaming “please put the raps down”
so i put track after track down
and lying in my coffin is the only time you’ll ever see me back down
the game’s dominated by -ss-clowns, they big talkers
but small potatoes like hash-browns
and i could be the same, that’s for you judge
you get an opin-ion for a rea-son, people; use it up
i make the music cause the music inspires me
plus i need to spit out all this mucus inside me
am i sick? is it lupus, or a loop in my wiring?
yeah, i’m sick; f-ckin’ loopy, but i duped the asylum
their report said “dude is beguiling”
never seen a man closer to being an island
never really been social, but seeing where i’ve been
you could maybe see the benefits to just being silent, keep your mouth shut
the game’s loused up; my lady listens to the radio
and most of what is playing through my house, sucks
imagine being me, -it’s frustrating
cause these stupid dudes were eating while i had to do b&e’s
but i don’t rap about it, usually
this is no act, so i don’t act, like i wasn’t acting stupidly
most emcees can’t tell the truth, truthfully
i keep it real, beautifully and suffer for it, dutifully
you’d do the same if you were me, but you’re not
and since i’m in the spot, lemme say that you couldn’t be
i’ll go to war for the things i believe in
shoot gun, swing swords every second i’m breathing
and i’m finding that my just reward
has me standing in a black room punching at the air trying to strike a chord
and me thinking that my odds ain’t good
gets me thinking, that if he exists, god ain’t good
what could i, be thinking? i’m thinking that my hard work
shouldn’t be ignored, like yard work, my heart hurts
it sucks being good at your vocation
when you’re bound to be held down by your location
everybody thinks it’s soft here, so they hating
but the difference is: we’re smart here, not so blatant, uh
i think i’ve lost it; i’ve got no patience
that’s why i’m smoking joints with these gospel pages
cause my buckets too clogged and i got no papers
inhale, thanking god my saviour, ha-ha-ha-ha
a little different in my thinking
won’t even climb aboard the ship unless the ship is sinking, uh
and this is probably why i go no place
i straight talk, but the m-sses got h0m- traits
and i should probably just let it go
i feel better, having said it, though, whether people listened, i may never know
it’s probably hard, when i ever-flow
try and spend a day in my head, it gets dull but it’s never slow
so many thoughts going on it’s a traffic jam
and that’s probably why i’m never feeling happy man
maybe i need meds and maybe i’ll get rich
and maybe next week, i’ll be dead
and maybe, maybes maybe might keep me full
maybe maybes will increase their pull, i don’t know
but if you bet against me, something’s wrong
say goodbye to your bet people your money’s gone

- ngajuana lyrics

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