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nichoxlas music - penance lyrics

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god give me directions
i promise i’ll pay attention
i pray for your intervention
i pray to be reinvented

i ask you for some solace
cause somewhere in life i lost it
the demons they came flocking
and took me i’ve been adopted
or maybe i adapted
to the pain that i attracted
is this really what you crafted
or is it just my reaction

life it seems so simple
but i still go through it crippled
swear the sh-t that i have lived through
makes everything else look fickle

how many bridges i gotta burn
how many lessons i gotta learn
how many corners i gotta turn
i’m getting tired i’m really concerned

is this really your guidance
have i been misguided
thought you were inside us
but i feel divided
i feel abused
i’m really confused
i really -ssumed
you could help me improve

prayed to you daily
but nothing is changing
what’s in me is dangerous
can barely contain it
no names that i’m naming
it’s clear who i’m blaming
is it entertaining
to k!ll your creation

is this what you wanted
is this what you plotted
if it is then you got it
how come you never stopped it

i love it i hate it
the drug that’s my hatred
and day to day i take it in and embrace it
could try to remove it
by now it’s infused
it cannot be removed
it’s just part of my mood

try to rework it
but nothing is working
i swear that it hurts me
the more that i learn and
i try to reject it
i always accept it
i feel so infected
i pray for correction

i reach for your hand
but i’m given a bottle
i don’t understand
i give in and i swallow
it burns but i’m cold
i feel bliss but i know
what i hold isn’t gold
it will lessen it’s glow

fell for so long that i’d forgotten
what it felt like
when you finally hit bottom
it broke me i’m crawling
i choke as i’m calling
the demons are sp-wning
they’re saying we got him

father i beg with sincerity
grant me some clarity
you even there for me?
this don’t seem fair to me
i don’t need therapy
i just need someone to be there
to care for me

father i beg with sincerity
grant me some clarity
i need you there with me
this life it just doesn’t seem fair to me
i just need someone to be there
to share with me

- nichoxlas music lyrics

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