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nick clams - boomer stats lyrics

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[first verse]
look at this guy he went 1 for 3
that’s a high enough batting average for me
wish he’s on my team, how much is he making?
i don’t want your fake stats like woba and wobacon

look at him go! he just crossed the plate
he just scored a run so as a player he is great
there’s a player on the royals, i think his name is whit
but he’s totally elite cause he has 200 hits

oh i know sabermetrics like ops+
if you prove me wrong then i will not discuss
how to use these stats and to not be a boomer
you can’t evaluate a player with a computer

[second verse]
i don’t like your stats cause i don’t think they’re real
i think dee gordon’s good cause he had a ton of steals
if you can drive in runs yeah i know that means you’re clutch
i don’t really care for risp and such

the best stat for pitchers is era
i like it cause on tv that’s what they display
i almost like it more than when a pitcher wins a game
but i don’t like it when a catcher knows how to frame
like my catcher willson—he is top 3
now get the h+ll out with your com+sci degree
fielders i like who has the least amount of errors
drs is fake because it’s just a bunch of letters

i’ve been waiting for the end so above all the rest
the best thing to use… is the eye test

- nick clams lyrics

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