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nick lord music - scars lyrics

[intro speech 1 : nick lord]
good day everyone my name is nick lord (hi nick lord)
this is my first group session, and i’ve been dealing with depression
i don’t really like to talk about it
because when i try to, n0body really listen
there’s always a phone call or something that comes up
well…people are always busy with their own problems
n0body really wants to listen to a young teens issues
so i guess the music is all i have to express myself
sometimes i ask myself who my friends are
and sometimes i wonder about my enemies, see
i got a lot of scars and trauma that still haunts me
and sometimes i do hope that the people close to me
see that i am dying inside
because the problem is
they hold my hand without truly touching me
thank you for listening

[chorus: harvest]
i’ve seen people crying
i’ve seen family dying
i’ve been broken torn apart
i faced demons screaming
i faced monsters screaming
i faced nights that break me down

[verse 1: nick lord]
enemies enemies drama everywhere
they k!ll a man k!ll a man trauma everywhere
should i talk about the numbers cause they dying everywhere
kid coming from the sunday school
never knew a bullet was awaiting
oh lord how did the mother feel
seeing her son barely 10 lying with that blood on his head
i’m sure she saw her son as the future doctor of the millennium
i’m sorry mama mariam
shattered dreams scattered with the ashes of cremation
i’d be lying if i said i feel your pain
you way too broken i can’t imagine
the pain the pain you seeing
the pain the pain you feeling
the pain the pain you been in
the nights with demons screaming
the chants with heaven singing
the michael songs of earth
i get why i cried in birth
cause this world is nothing close to paradise
evil intend to crawl in my blood and try to take me when i’m down
i am fighting every second for the life without a gun
every pulse gets me nervous i don’t know if its my last
have i carried my endeavors i really try to live in christ
so many questions i have
like what am i doing here
is my life in the field or the studio its getting cloudy here
was i really meant to write
was i really meant to love
was i really meant for me
am i the person in the mirror or that sh+t is just impression
am i the person to be light or that sh+t is intuition
i give my music to the world let me be the voice of the nation
let me speak for the speech impaired
let me see for the blind too
let me hear for the deaf
let me cry for those in pain too
let me bleed for those who can’t
let me die for them to live too
conversations with myself
i wish i told you i needed therapy
but my uncle told me i was black for that
i wish i told you i wanted to cry
but my granny told me i’m a man for that
i wish i told you i was broken insane
but my ego told me i’m too proud for that
i wish i told you i needed a doctor
but these pockets told me i’m too broke for that
conversations with my younger self
asking questions to the older me
like where was you when i was drowning man
like where was you when i was suffocating
like where was you when i needed a friend
like where was you when i was de+consecrated
you petty boy you call you lord
you a selfish n+gga you ain’t got shame
you left me to die alone like all these people around
you all the same
i grew up with a lot of anger i bottled it up
like a bottle of champagne
i pour my heart to the mic i bleed like a champ in pain
i got scars like kay+dee that will forever remain
i don’t feel like i can save myself
i gotta work to eat but these spirits is fighting sick
demons dungeons
dragons fire, darkness
the rise the fall the 6 minutes of fame
the black nest
black birds the broken wings, the life threats
whats your biggest enemy
is it your family, friends, your husband or your wife
whose will come to save you
well…who will take your life
is your enemy unknown or is it painfully yourself
almost took my life when i was young
i never told my mom
i can’t imagine her pain, i’m her one and only son
i feel like a soldier in battle
with a broken arm
a riffle out of ammo
left alone to die in the jungle
see i
feel my greatest weakness pulling me down
from strength to sickness
i
see my life in ashes
then hope gave me a book from jehovah’s witness
i’m
loosing prayers from time to time
i cry for mercy from from highness
i
still question if i believe in celestial beings
your highness, forgive my wicked faith
it’s just that there are so many religions
what’s my fate
heaven, h+ll, rebirth
or just an empty void like cease to exist

[chorus: harvest]
i’ve seen people crying
i’ve seen family dying
i’ve been broken torn apart
i faced demons screaming
i faced monsters screaming
i faced nights that break me down

[speech 2: harvest]
good day everyone my name is harvest
this is my first group session
and i’ve been dealing with depression too
i don’t really like to talk about it
because when i try to n0body really listen
there’s always a distraction
for some reason, something always comes up
well… people are always busy with their own problems
n0body really wants to listen to a young girl’s issues
so i guess the music is all i have to express myself
sometimes i ask myself if i deserve the pain i face
and sometimes i wonder
why is life putting me through the things i face
i got a lot of scars, and trauma that still haunts me
and sometimes i do hope
that people close to me sees that i am drying inside
because the problem is
they hold my hand, without truly touching me
thank you for listening

[chorus: harvest]
i’ve seen people crying
i’ve seen family dying
i’ve been broken torn apart
i faced demons screaming
i faced monsters screaming
i faced nights that break me down

- nick lord music lyrics

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