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nick xl - damien karras lyrics

[verse]
we used to talk a lot
we used to be friends
knew i’d count on you in the end
now you’re just a room in my head
read the book, i know all that it says
every scripture i pondered in dread
i saw buckets of people all shuffling, dead
with a tie on their neck and some blood in their beds
but f+ck it, it’s something i guess
personally, i turned to rap and some weed
panic attacks and the lack of some sleep
i had a surgery back in ’01
and i think that i tragically had to become
someone that was sheltered and kept from the light
i almost lost every aspect of life
and it still feels like there is no difference now
god lift me up and i cut me back down
but i never look down on those people for nothing
it’d probably help me, just hoping for something
but i chose to go and bet all on myself
my biggest mistake was believing in h+ll
cause n0body’s punished, i see it’s absurd
my father, a rapist, is free as a bird
and he use to have his own issues with christ
went back and forth between different lives
and when i get scared, and that sh+t’s been often
i fold up my hands like i’m over a coffin
my mother has cancer and i feel exhausted
trying to find me some flame but i lost it
so why i been talkin to god again?
cause he has done nothin for me
and i never got any f+cking relief
why i still wanna believe?
[outro]
i walk in and then i burst into a ball of flames
i walk in and then i burst into a ball of flames

- nick xl lyrics

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