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nick xl - i remember lyrics

[hook]
i rememeber when i wasn’t f+cked up
when i wasn’t let down
when i wasn’t washed up
wasn’t on my last round
when i wasn’t tryna prove to strangers im the class clown
wasn’t tryna be somebody else, thats in my past now

i remember peer pressure, and thats the best that i was
i was blessed, i had some friends that let me jet with their buzz
sh+t was the best, ain’t no aggression, just some sets with the buds
until we all got the idea to confess what it was
that sh+t was temporary, like most things in my life are
and i done tried my best with this sh+t, but it ain’t a high bar
it took years to admit that i was at fault too
that im prolly the reason people dont wanna talk soon
been lost, wandering, wondering when ill make it back
i ain’t felt like me for a minute, i hope i stay the track
i only talk to my mother now and then drew
my brother when he comes through, then im back to being recluse
i crumbled my whole world into nothing for drops of juice
then i stepped back like its cool, and stepped into a noose
my focus, it slowly faded, my drive it was slowly dying
and i still feel it sometimes, when i can’t but i feel like writing

[hook]
+when i wasn’t f+cked up
when i wasn’t let down
when i wasn’t washed up
wasn’t on my last round
when i wasn’t tryna prove to strangers im the class clown
wasn’t tryna be somebody else, thats in my past now

i used to post like every day and just meme
say crazy things just for the sake, that was my day, was supreme
and at 12 that can be your whole day and its dope
at 19, its less cool, so i just dont even post
at 12 years old i told myself when i get big ima k!ll it
ima drop all of this weight, take care of sh+t, ima film it
get out of this stagnant state im in and brush on my t++th
at 19, my entire mouth hurts when i eat
at 19, i ain’t got a job, dont shower my body
at 19, sh+t i feel like suicide is my hobby
at 19, i just wish i learned my lesson much sooner
wish i got outta this depression, got myself out the lunar
wish i ain’t hit the f+cking dealer, made myself a consumer
had all these blessings, still i left em just to chill at computers
i remember looking back and thinking that i was cursed
but now i be looking back, knowing that it gets worse

- nick xl lyrics

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