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nickelodeon - better than no one (ren & stimpy) lyrics

ren: “steempy! what’s all that racket about?”
stimpy: “i’m tap-dancing, ren! pretty good, huh?”
ren: “eet just sounds like noise to me! and you look even more stupeed than usual!”
stimpy: “oh, pshaw! tap-dancing is fun, ren! why don’t you join me?”
ren: “oh no, i’m no eediot.”
stimpy: “oh c’mon! no one will ever see you.”
ren: “no way!”
stimpy: “just put these shoes on, and move your feet…”
ren: “back off, man!! i can do it…”
stimpy: “now, don’t you feel better?”
ren: “heeeey, thees eez fun! you’re right, stimpy. i’m sorry i’m all the time so mean to you.”
stimpy: “think nothin’ of it, buddy! pal!

it’s really great to have a chum
who’s kind and caring and lots of fun.
he slaps me around when i feel blue;
only a pal would do that for you.
his name is ren
and when it comes to a friend,
no one is better.

your turn, pal!”
ren: ah, okay, bud–aaaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!! you eediot! if you’re going to tap-dance, do it on your own two feet!”
stimpy: “whoops.”

ren: “he’s really fat, [stimpy burps] but i admit,
stimpy: (what’s that, ren?)
he’s not so dumb…
stimpy: (joy!) …for an eediot!
i hate the smell of his stinky little box
and when he fills me to my stay-put socks.
he’s lost his mind
but when i’m een a bind,
he’s better than no one.

would you wanna comb my hair?”
stimpy: “with glee!”
ren: “would you shave my tongue?”
stimpy: “for free!”
ren: “would you flense my spleen?”
stimpy: “whoopee!”
both: “you’re the friend for me!”

ren: “my friend to the end,
stimpy: (that’s me! that’s me!)
which i hope is soon,
stimpy: (he hopes is soon!)
has a head full of air
stimpy: (a head full of air?)
like a red balloon!”
stimpy: “a balloon-head? wow! what a great thing to be!
you always say the nicest things to me!”
ren: “you’re a fool!”
stimpy: “but i think you’re cool!
no one is better.

would you tell me a story?”
ren: “no way!”
stimpy: “would you pick my nose?”
ren: “for pay…”
stimpy: “would you scratch my back?”
ren: “no!”
stimpy: “pluck my brows?”
ren: “no!!”
stimpy: “clean my box?”
ren: [screams]
stimpy: “lick my fur?”

ren: “all right, stimpy! that’s eet! i’ve had enough of your stuuuupid questions! the answer is no! no, i tell you! a thousand times, noooo!!!!”
stimpy: “oh, just asking!”

ren: “we’re opposites by nature.”
stimpy: “he’s a dog, and i-i’m a cat! i think.”
ren: “but put us both together…”
stimpy: “and we’re a purr-fect match!”
ren: “shut up!”
stimpy: “yes, sir! i’m glad he’s here to tell me what to do!”
ren: “aw, somebody’s got to think for you.
you may be a dud,
but when i need a bud,
you’re better than no one.”

stimpy: “no one is better!”
ren: “you’re better than…”
stimpy: “no one is…”
ren: “better than…”
stimpy: “no one…”
both: “no one… is better.”

- nickelodeon lyrics

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